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Posts Tagged ‘Peeves’

Dear Trump (aka Tacolini):

I was at your birthday “party.” It was an accident, believe me. I booked a flight months ago to go to Washington, D.C., for a conference. It was only a couple of weeks ago that I realized I’d be flying in on the day of your vanity parade.

What a waste of taxpayer money. It’s as bad as your weekly golf trips.

Yet we can’t afford cancer research, SNAP benefits, Medicaid, an HIV vaccine, etc.

Sure. 🙄

Anyway.

I’m staying up near DuPont Circle, which was a ghost town. I assumed it was because everyone was still at a No Kings protest or at your thing.

Maybe the former, but certainly not the latter. Admittedly, I got there near the end. (Yes, I went because I’m nosy).

I expected to see a whole bunch of your acolytes. I saw maybe three obvious ones and a couple I suspect.

Maybe these folks? 🤷🏻‍♀️

It seemed … poorly attended. I thought I must be missing something. I had a look at social media to see.

Oooh. That’s got to sting.

Oh, yes. Look at you:

Sour Puss next to Whiskey Pete, the DUI hire

It couldn’t happen to a worse person. I hope you had a terrible day. Sorry, not sorry.

I have never liked you. That’s never been a secret. You are everything people teach their kids not to be: greedy, petty, vindictive, boastful, willfully ignorant, etc.

And your policies actively hurt most people and help only very rich people.

[For people who say I have Trump Derangement Syndrome, and my life is better because of Trump, you can f—- all the way off. I know my life, and it was made worse by this idiot’s policies the first time (taxes, work experiences), and already this second time (work repercussions).]

I mean, look at you already backing off your immigration stance.

It’s only because you realized it was hurting your wealthy friends who employ undocumented workers.

As I was walking around, I was pleased to see a few things, such as these lightpost signs:

And then, I saw this:

Awww. So much empty.

There was a significant police presence, but not enough humans around to justify.

I heard some sirens and noise, so I followed the sound and found some people leaving the Washington Monument area.

It was a mix of people leaving the parade plus leftover No Kings. Then I went down the block a bit.

Some chanting, that’s it. Peaceful protest.

I was wearing my “Maybe today, Satan” shirt, but I did not get involved. Frankly, in my heart I know not ACAB, but I saw what enforcement folks did to reporters and regulars in L.A. I have a conference to attend, and I can’t do it from the hospital or jail.

Maybe. Maybe not.

So I left, and I ate a lovely dinner at Nando’s. Did NOT raise a glass to you.

I hope you are miserable knowing that millions of people turned out in cities large and small in the U.S. and abroad to protest you and all those who enable you — your junk drawer of a “Cabinet,” the spineless sycophants in Congress, your donors, and anyone who voted for you and still supports you.

I hope you had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

With no regards,
Beth

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Dear Americans:

Some of you still have a few brain cells to rub together. I’m happy to see that.

But some of you are COLOSSALLY DUMB.

I mean, you can blame your lack of knowledge on the media you consume, but at some point you have to take responsibility.

The whole internet is RIGHT THERE. You can search for accurate information.

Use the critical thinking skills that set us higher vertebrates apart.

To make it easier for you, here are some facts:

Russia invaded Ukraine. No one disputed that until Trump started using Russian talking points. You know what would end the war? Russia can get the F out of someone else’s country.

Our allies support Zelenskyy. Russia doesn’t, obvi. But RUSSIA is not our ally in this conflict. Or wasn’t.

Trump/Vance are not the good guys on the world stage. They also are not the good guys at home for the 75 million Americans who did not vote for them. Also, please remember why Trump was impeached the first time.

The U.S. reneged on a deal. We made promises. We were supposed to be an ally to Ukraine and to Europe.

The budget bill the Republican-controlled House just passed 217-215 will add $5 trillion to the deficit. It will require cuts to programs such as Medicaid yet the top tier of earners and corporations make out like bandits. Why do y’all ever put Republicans in charge? They screw the economy every time.

These two images represent what’s happening with Trump/Musk/DOGE:

https://apnews.com/article/doge-faa-air-traffic-firings-safety-67981aec33b6ee72cbad8dcee31f3437

Musk does not know what he is doing.

Many people are pissed at what’s happening — people on the right and the left. They don’t like Musk. They aren’t happy with what Trump/Vance did to Zelenskyy. They are going to any town halls that reps are having, and they are voicing their displeasure. The Republican response? Stop going. Can you believe it? They are also saying that the people attending are either Democrats or are paid/bussed in by the DNC. Three thoughts: (1) Probably not. I saw one town hall video where Kansas Sen. Marshall walked out immediately after a man said, “I’m not a Democrat, but I’m worried about the veterans.” (2) Democrats are constituents too. I’ve been calling my reps every three or so days for the last couple of weeks. (3) I don’t care. The reps still need to answer questions publicly. They need to stop hiding behind social media accounts and their PR people.

Tariffs are paid by consumers. Trump is lying or fundamentally mistaken when he says other countries will pay.

Trump is a pathological liar. For example, his approval ratings are in the toilet, unlike what he tells everyone. The only president who had lower ratings was him in his first term.

When I write posts like this, I always think, “This time. This time, it will work. This time, people will see reason: I will have found the right combination of images, links and text.”

But then I have interactions with those of you like this:

And I see that there is genuinely no hope for some of you.

If I were in a club bathroom with America, I’d say, “Girl, you’re in trouble.”

WAKE UP.

At least stop existing on a diet of whatever FOX, the former Twitter, Facebook, your church, etc., feeds you.

Kthxbyeeee,
Beth

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COMING THIS SUMMER!

BIG DON and LITTLE BUDDY’S

A new theme park for true patriots only!

Now — a theme park for the most important people of all: STRAIGHT WHITE MEN.

Only STRAIGHT WHITE MEN are allowed — preferably married men wanting to get away from the ol’ ball and chain. Leave that shrill harpy HOME where she belongs!

Only AMERICANS — except for TYRANT TUESDAYS when Americans can bring a straight male friend from one of the following countries: Russia, South Africa, and Hungary.

Only the RICH. You must make more than 360 large. NO POORS. Show your bank statement with your ticket.

Nothing WOKE here. WE GUARANTEE. You never have to see a Pride flag or a black face.**

NO DEI either. Our rides are run by the cream of the crop: TEENAGE INCELS.

Get 20 percent off OLD GLORY merch at the GRIFT SHOP and a coupon for free FREEDOM FRIES at the GUANTÁNAMO BAY BISTRO when you give the Sieg Heil at the gate.

RED, WHITE, AND BLUELAND is affiliated with the ALL NEW John F. Kennedy and Kid Rock Big Ass Honkytonk Center for the Performing Arts and Rock ‘N’ Roll Steakhouse. The MARCH LINEUP features Kid Rock, Jason Aldean, Lee Greenwood, Ted Nugent, Billy Ray Cyrus, John Rich, and Monster Truck Action with the WORLD-FAMOUS TRUCKASAURUS. Also, David Copperfield.

‘MURICA!

*For now. I think. If you like this idea, you might be a racist. If you are offended, ask yourself why.

**But if you want to wear blackface, that’s totes fine here at RED, WHITE, AND BLUELAND. It’s not just for Halloween anymore!

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Isn’t FOX News basically a scam targeting seniors? I can see why this administration wouldn’t want seniors to recognize a scam — like voting for a con man.

Hey kids!

Auntie Beth has a fun new game for you. It’s called Truth AND Consequences.

We’ll start with a scenario. You decide if it’s real or if Auntie Beth’s fertile imagination made it up Onion-style. Here’s an example:

Trump administration fires more than 300 staffers at the National Nuclear Security Administration. Rehires them the next day when they realize those people oversee America’s nuclear weapons. But wait: They can’t locate their personal contact info and are asking remaining employees for help.

Is this real or fake news?

If you answered real, you are RIGHT!

Are you ready? Here we go!

USDA accidentally fired officials working on bird flu and is now trying to rehire them.

REAL!

A reality TV star in charge of transportation weighed in on autism research promoted by an anti-vax former (?) heroin addict in charge of health.

REAL!

Trump just delegitimized a vaccine he was proud of getting to the public quickly.

REAL!

A non-elected, non-government person with no oversight has been given broad access to internal, confidential U.S. government databases and is making sweeping decisions on funding programs based on whether he thinks they are valuable or not. Oh, and he makes $7 million per day from the very same government.

FAKE NEWS! Elon Musk makes $8 million per day from all his federal contracts.

VP Vance refused to meet with the Chancellor of Germany, but did meet with the leader of the far-right German party who calls Holocaust remembrance a “guilt cult.”

REAL!

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson and Senate Majority Leader John Thune said that Trump cannot continue to govern through Executive Orders — that they are done being “his bitches,” and he must work with Congress.

Please. Are you kidding? That’s as FAKE as RFK Jr.’s tan. Those two couldn’t find a spine if they were locked overnight in the Brooklyn Bone Museum.

The man above was busted for:

A. Serving minors in his bar.
B. Drinking on the job.
C. Cheating on his taxes.
D. Causing an international PR crisis.

This is a toughie. It’s D for sure, but also likely C and B (though it LOOKS like A if you happen to just glance at the TV*).

Old man who has been accusing everyone of spending too much money spends $5 million for a joyride around a racetrack.

REAL!

Two Republican reps have introduced legislation to increase your bank fees.

REAL!

And one wants to rename Greenland to “Red, White, and Blueland.”

REAL!

A woman reported to be a Chinese spy has been chosen to head national intelligence for America.

FAKE NEWS! Tulsi Gabbard allegedly works for Russia.

The President of the United States of America declared himself king.

REAL!

The Internal Revenue Service is about to lay off 6,000 employees in the middle of tax season.

FAKE NEWS! It’s closer to 6,700.

The image above is of:

A. Mr. Potato Head in human form.
B. A man who claimed that advising people of their rights is a crime.
C. A contributor to Project 2025.

The answer is both B and C, but A also appears to be true.

The wheelchair-bound governor of Texas signed a bill overturning the very policies that are supposed to help disabled people get a fair shake.

REAL!

How many out of the 15 did you get right? (Were you even able to add up your score through your tears and/or blinding rage?)

This is America, y’all. Schoolhouse Rock didn’t prepare us for this bullshit.

The United States has three branches of government. At the moment, only the executive branch and judicial branch seem to be active. The Republicans in Congress seem to be OK with Trump governing via Executive Order.

Auntie Beth says if you don’t like it, call your Senators and Representatives. Auntie Beth knows that a woman’s place is in the resistance.

*According to my friend John.

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Dear People Who Like To Be “In The Know,”

With all the drama surrounding the Biden pardon*, you may have missed the other big drama unfolding on the platform formerly known as Twitter:

A woman defended her dissertation and posted about it. Normal people would say “Congrats!” and go on with their lives.

But on Leon’s platform, no one behaves normally.

People lost their ever-lovin’ minds.

Categories of outrage:

  1. She should be having kids, not studying anything.
  2. ⁠Her topic is stupid.
  3. It’s stupid and WOKE.
  4. ⁠Taxpayer money (! – from the stupid Americans, of course) spent on stupid topic. (Note: She’s in the UK.)
  5. ⁠She’s seeking validation and is therefore stupid.
  6. Her topic is stupid, and therefore I’m smarter (the “I” here being the outraged respondent).
  7. A degree is a waste.

You don’t believe me? Here is a quick sample:

(Note that all these accounts have Leon’s blue check, indicating they pay for the “privilege.” 🙄)

The one that takes the cake is the one she references here:

I mean: WHAT THE ACTUAL F—-?!

One of the main through lines here is that people do not understand that dissertations are always relatively niche. They cap a broader area of study.

It’s not just that they don’t understand. They also are completely unwilling to learn.

The anti-intellectualism, anti-science, anti-knowledge, sheer-contempt-for-education bent that many people seem to have is on full display.

I waded in when I saw this:

Um … WHAT?!

What benefit does anyone intend to bring to the world with our education and, ultimately, our job?

Well, Marilyn, who claims she worked successfully as a technical writer at a Fortune 300 company without needing more than a high-school degree, thinks that Dr. Louks can’t write, isn’t a deep thinker, wasted her time on an advanced degree, and won’t get a job.

Note that Dr. Louks already is teaching at Cambridge, but why let a fact stand in the way of Marilyn’s superior opinion?

Before I go on, let me remind you that our Marilyn was a technical writer (so she says). And she is criticizing Dr. Louks’ writing ability. DEAR GOD. My copyediting brain is going to explode.

I tried to share information with her. I can’t help it.

I tried because I would consider myself knowledgeable about the subject at hand:

1. I wrote a dissertation and earned a Ph.D.
2. I work in higher education.
3. I hire newly minted academic doctors all the time.

My brothers and sisters in Christ, I’m sure you can imagine that it did not stop there. There was a fair amount of back and forth where I explained that some jobs do indeed require an advanced degree, that I have one (an advanced degree AND a job) in higher education, and that Dr. Louks will be OK.

Here we are nearing the end where I finally gave up.

<RECORD SCRATCH>

I DON’T? I literally spend half my waking hours working in the education system.

So I said it’s my field, not hers. That she’s doubling down on being ignorant, and I was done trying to help her understand.

You can’t fix stupid.

She’s still on there making these insane claims. She’s learned nothing.

Meanwhile, I’ve learned that I really do need to stay on Bluesky where it’s civil. It’s like the early days of Twitter. No “premium” subscription needed.

Please check it out before the trolls take over. Or Leon buys it and ruins it like everything else he touches.

See you there!
Beth

*BTW, let’s put that in perspective:

Donald Trump pardons Steve Bannon, Roger Stone, Michael Flynn, etc.
MAGA: THIS IS HIS RIGHT!

Joe Biden pardons Hunter Biden.
MAGA: THIS IS SO WRONG!

(credit to @JoJofromJerz)

“BUT JOE LIED! He said he wouldn’t!” Yeah, well, things change. Trump and his cronies said they were going after Hunter and many others as soon as they get in. Also, Trump lied more than 30K times during his term, so maybe take a seat. Or several.

Finally, Hunter’s punishment didn’t fit his crime. Talk about a witch hunt.

So if you support the felon (convicted, I’ll remind you, by a JURY) and his cabinet of rapists/thugs/sycophants/donors (including daughter’s father-in-law — also a felon whom he pardoned), zip it about the pardon.

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Dear Internet Experts,

Notice that I did not say “experts on the internet.” There is a difference. Just because you have access to all sorts of information, that does not mean you are an expert on various topics.

Case in point: 45 (incoming 47) spends loads of time on his phone, could Google “tariffs” if he wanted, but does not seem to understand how they work. Fact: Other countries do not actually pay the price.

(And those who think tariffs won’t drive up costs ALSO could have done a quick Google search BEFORE the election when it would have been most helpful, not afterward.)

I read a surprising exchange on the platform formerly known as Twitter. A person actually said that having a degree in a subject doesn’t make you an expert.

Um. What?

I’ll allow that maybe it doesn’t make you THE expert, but it does make you AN expert. You certainly would be better versed in the subject than some rando.

I have a graduate certificate in explosives technology. I wouldn’t call myself an expert, but I would say I know more than the average person.

In the runup to the election, I had friends of Facebook friends — people who didn’t know me — trying to tell me about the “woke liberal media,” “fake news” and media ownership.

I wanted to scream, “I worked in media for 30+ years. I literally wrote the book** on media ownership. SHUT UP.”

When did people become so anti-science and anti-knowledge? When did people stop listening to people who have experience and expertise and KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT?

Can you imagine someone who has never done your job telling you they know more about it than you do? You would be outraged. And rightfully so.

So why, dearest Internet Expert, do you think it is OK to do this on social media?

Look at this exchange about COVID (which, by the way, is still around and killing people, even though we like to ignore it):

So let’s recap: A person with an advanced degree in virology is being told by these “Internet Experts” that she:

  • is giving terrible advice.
  • lives in a fantasy.
  • is a low IQ individual.
  • doesn’t know anything.

Her actual job for more than 10 years is studying viruses, but yet she doesn’t know as much as these three fools?

GTFO.

For kicks, here are their profiles:

So they seem fun.

Honestly, where do people get off?

I saw this just today:

I’m all for people having opinions, but come on: We are not equal in all areas. There is and should be a hierarchy of knowledge.

For example, I will listen to my doctor about my health over WebMD. (It’s better that way anyhow: WebMD always says I’m dying tomorrow.)

My point? Stay in your lane. I’m sure you have an expertise. We will trust you in that area. In return, please trust others who are experts in their fields.

Google is a great tool, but it is no match for a true education.

Thanks for your consideration,
Beth

*Pink Floyd seems appropriate here.

**OK, it was a book-length dissertation, but still.

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To Trump Voters,

Well, it appears you got what you wanted.

Now we are all in the Finding Out stage of F—-ing Around.

I hope it works out, but I’m afraid it won’t.

I haven’t forgotten his first term,

Though I’m not a fan of Biden’s Department of Education (see FAFSA failure), Trump’s was terrible too (hi, Betsy DeVos).

Now he just wants to just get rid of the DoE altogether.

Without the Department of Education, what becomes of special needs programs? Head Start? Pell Grants? FAFSA overall?

Oh, money is going back to the states? Riiiiight. Sure it is. I’ll bite: How? What’s the process? How is it not going to be a disaster like FAFSA was/is?

Why do I care? I work in higher education. I am worried about my job in a way I’ve never had to worry about in any other presidential election.

Also, Vance called professors “the enemy.” So that’s great. 🙄

If I lose my job, I can’t sleep on the street. SCOTUS said so.

Plus, I’m middle aged. The sidewalk would hurt my back.

Ordinarily, if the candidate I voted for didn’t win, I’d be disappointed, but I’d go about the business of living my life. Just regular grousing.

It’s different now.

Among many other ‘bright’ ideas, Trump said he wants to bring back prayer in schools (which is a violation of the separation of church and state, and unconstitutional as of 1962), eliminate birthright citizenship (which is against the 14th Amendment of the Constitution**), and plans to go through with mass deportations of millions of people (with “no price tag” — isn’t that the OPPOSITE of smaller government you said you wanted?).

Y’all did say you care about the economy and immigration, so let’s start with the latter.

I don’t think you know who picks your food. Who works on your roads. Who builds your houses. And it will deter people in the tech, engineering and medical fields as well.

There will be a price tag, alright. And we will all pay it.

Deporting illegal immigrants will collapse our economy. Also, we are talking about HUMAN BEINGS with full lives and families in this country. What are they going “back” to? What about the people who have no ties to their country of “origin?” What’s wrong with you?

So let’s talk now about the former, supposedly a big issue (even though the Economist says the U.S. economy is the envy of the world).

Someone wrote on Twitter (it will never be X to me):

Hard times create Democrats.
Democrats create good times.
Good times create Republicans.
Republicans create hard times.***

It’s worth noting that EVERY REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT has had a recession. Economies perform better under Democratic presidents.

You don’t believe me? Look it up.

dO yOUr oWn rESeaRch.

I did my own reconnaissance on the price of things, just for an “OMGTHINGSARESOEXPENSIVE!!” baseline. (They aren’t.)

Note that I’m in Oregon, where cost of living is higher for many things. Produce tends to be lower, though. Still, I’ll check back in on these prices once Trump really gets going.

It’s worth noting that this is the lowest gas has been since I moved here.

I meant to take a pic of coffee. That’s something we import the shit out of. And bananas and sugar. I’ll document those on my next grocery run.****

If Trump starts with his insane tariff plans, costs for all those will go up.

I don’t think you understand tariffs. Or economics. Or definitions of economic systems.

Let me help.

Capitalism: Private individuals and companies offer goods and services. They control production and distribution.

Socialism: The community owns goods and services through a centralized government. Individuals can own property.

Communism: Everything is owned by an authoritarian government. No private property.

Marxism: A critique of capitalism that focuses on the exploitation of workers. Marx said the next step is socialism after the workers rebel.

And while we are at it, here are three more:

Fascism: A system of government where a dictator has complete power — squashing criticism and opposition while emphasizing extreme nationalism.

Authoritarianism: A system of government where the power of the state — either one person or a small group not accountable to the people — is more important than individual freedom.

Oligarchy: A form of government in which a few people or a dominant class holds all the power.

Huh. Those three sound a little too familiar.

Anyway. I did what I could before the election to counter the misinformation you all were lapping up like my naked cat drinks water. I tried. And I voted. Even though my ballot has STILL not been counted, according to the online tracker. (Starlink, again?)

All I can say is this:

I hope you get what you voted for.

Beth

Just putting this here for proof. Ignore the apostrophe (“High’s”). The rest is accurate. (I didn’t make this graphic.)

*Sorry, Bangles.

**Not that it matters because the majority of SCOTUS carries water for the Orange One. And it’s not like he cares about what’s legal anyway.

***A change to this quote.

One final thing: I DARE someone to say, “Your body, my choice” to me. It will be hard for him to speak again with his balls in his throat. #fact

Try me.

And I love this guy.

****UPDATE: Photos from my last grocery run

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Dear Certain Facebook Friend,

I really think you need a hobby that does not involve using an “independent browser.” You’ve gone way down the conspiracy-theory rabbit hole.

In addition to hopping on board the HAARP bandwagon, you are, naturally, an antivaxxer.

You posted this recently. Are you really wanting to go back to 1890s knowledge? They were still using cocaine as an all-purpose pain reliever, for crying out loud!

There doesn’t seem to be a conspiracy theory you don’t embrace.

Sigh. Where to begin with this?

Oh. My.

Here are SO MANY tinfoil-hat buzzwords:

Later in the post, you mention the Deep State (of course).

AND, the grandpappy of them all, GEORGE SOROS.

Lord have mercy.

Let me get this straight:

COVID was a well-planned global conspiracy coordinated via the corrupt George Soros-owned media and search engines. The mRNA-DNA altering injections (i.e., vaccines) were sold for massive profits — killing people with the “Pfizer clot shot” while the unvaxxed were hunted.

This is what you said.

OK.

So.

Let’s put aside simple facts such as mRNA doesn’t alter DNA, the vaccines were/are free, and no one hunted unvaxxed folks. There are a couple of other issues:

All the countries of the world agreed to do this: Russia, Ukraine, North Korea, U.S., China, etc.? And they all worked together well and kept it a secret? Like I told you, I can’t even get three people to keep a secret about a Christmas present.

Who exactly benefited from this plot? COVID crashed economies. What’s the point of killing so many people with COVID or with the vaccine? Were they enemies of the DEEP STATE? Did they KNOW TOO MUCH? Somehow I doubt it.

Why is anyone hunting unvaxxed people? There’s no need. I mean, I believe in survival of the fittest. You don’t want to get vaccinated? OK. Polio, measles, cholera, etc. will take you out soon enough.

I’m surprised you didn’t mention THE LIBERAL ELITES.

Side note: All “experts” are not in academia. Look at all the scientists, economists, etc., all over the world.

You know, I have a good position at a university. Shouldn’t I be part of this club? I’ve been working in higher education for nearly 30 years. Shouldn’t I have gotten an invitation by now? I’m a little put out. How am I supposed to know how to indoctrinate students without the official guidelines?

Um … didn’t this dude go to Yale?

I’m also surprised you didn’t warn me off my Alexa. You’d be right about surveillance, though: I’m sure that old ‘ho IS listening all the time and making notes.

Fine. I don’t care. What’s she tracking? When I need cat food? Good.

If Bill Gates wants to implant a chip in me and track my movements, he can go right ahead.

It’s not like I’m plotting a global conspiracy.

Back to that.

Let’s say, just for kicks, that you are right — that you and the rest of the 5G nutters have stumbled onto the truth of a cabal and exposed their machinations. (You haven’t, but let’s pretend.)

So what?

What are you going to do about it?

What if the earth IS flat? (It’s not.)

So what?

How does it affect you?

What if the moon landing WAS fake? (It wasn’t.)

So what?

How will your life change?

It won’t.

It genuinely does not make a difference to you or to me or to anyone in our daily lives. We are still going to go to work, hang out with friends, take care of our families, clean our houses, plan vacations, pay bills, go to dinner, etc., every day whether George Soros buys another TV station or not.

So my recommendation is to get off the Internet (dark web, light web, private browser, whatever) and go get some fresh air. Have a few analog days. Or weeks. Or maybe even months.

When you come back, take a page out of Finland’s playbook for its schoolchildren and practice critical-thinking skills.

With genuine concern for your health,
Beth

*He didn’t. Obviously.

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Hey kids!

Auntie Beth is back to help you make sense of the weather.

If Marge from the holler is trying to tell you the gub’ment is controlling the weather, don’t believe her.

This is the same person who thought that Jewish space lasers caused California wildfires.

Also, she’s PART of the government.

Also, she’s said humans don’t cause climate change (but if they did that it’s good for us.).

But humans DID cause Hurricane Helene?

Really, it boggles the mind.

But MTG isn’t the only halfwit out there tweeting (er .. Xing) nonsense.

  1. Application (louder for people in the back)
  2. Abandoned
  3. Sound waves
  4. Joins applications for fun things like time travel and invisibility cloaks and urinal headrests
  5. Can’t we get rain over deserts?

But wait, here’s more:

Ok, y’all: I’m going to address just one thing to bring the rest of this nonsense into focus:

These storms brewing in the Atlantic at the same time? Not a coincidence.

That’s right. That’s because IT’S HURRICANE SEASON.

Hurricane season runs June 1-Nov. 30 EVERY YEAR.

It’s at its most active in late August and September when water temperatures in the Gulf and in the Atlantic are at their warmest.

(Reality check: When was Hurricane Katrina? Aug. 29, 2005. Who was president? George W. Bush. When was Hurricane Andrew? Aug. 24, 1992. Who was president? George H. W. Bush.)

Facebook reminded me I was worried about the path of Hurricane Matthew at this time eight years ago.

So a little check back around this time every effing year would find a few storms brewing in the Atlantic. These storms have gotten more intense. Why? CLIMATE CHANGE, YOU ABSOLUTE TURNIP.

(Ok. I’m breathing. I’m breathing. In with the good air. Out with the bad.)

Back to the U.S. government controlling hurricanes. Does it? No. Did it? If you count some light cloud seeding back in the 1960s-1980s? Still no (it didn’t work).

Auntie Beth recommends you stop believing complete buffoons and liars and start believing and helping people who want to do things such as:

  • Reduce carbon emissions
  • Replace and repair critical infrastructure
  • Find and fund insurance for homeowners and renters in areas potentially most affected
  • Build storm-resilient structures
  • Develop new clean-energy sources and technology

If you can’t do that, at least stop sharing misinformation on Leon’s sinking barge of barf.

Auntie Beth thanks you.

*Sorry, Cher.

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Dear Trump Fans,

Before you think, “Oh, here she goes again — another political post,” let me assure you that it’s not. No policy points here. It’s about personality. It’s about Trump the man.

I don’t like him at all.

I know, I know: I’ve hidden it so well. 😉😂

The only time I even liked him a wee bit was when he wore a yellow suit on SNL.

So my genuine question for you: Why do you like him? As a person? Not as a candidate.

I’m going to make some general sweeping assumptions. I might be wrong on a few when it comes to bets on you, but I’m not wrong on him. See links.

He’s just so different from you (and from me) as a human being.

You worked hard for your money. He didn’t.

You pay taxes. He doesn’t.

You pay your bills. He doesn’t.

You work to keep your business afloat. He doesn’t.

You love spending time with your family. He doesn’t.

You have friends. He doesn’t.

You don’t mock people with disabilities. He does.

You don’t lie. He does.

You have to work at least eight hours a day at your job. He didn’t.

You don’t call people names. He does.

You wouldn’t take a bribe. He likely did.

You give to charity. He misused charitable funds.

You likely have pets. He doesn’t.

You might be able to dance. He can’t.

You wouldn’t bury your dead ex spouse on your land. He did.

You don’t cheat on your spouse.** He does.

You aren’t gross about women in general. He is.

You haven’t raped anyone. He has.

You haven’t been convicted of a felony. He has.

I would hope you aren’t racist. He is.

A couple of these on the list might not be a problem. I mean, not everyone can dance. Some people are allergic to pets. But a collection of more than four or five, and we are starting to get into weird territory.

And those last three are deal breakers for my fan club threshold.

You might say, “But Beth, I don’t have much in common with Taylor Swift either.” Yeah. But she has friends. Cats. Gives to charity. Works hard. Ticks off a number of “like us” boxes.

He’s not like you. Like me. I’m sure you are a good person with a good work ethic and good friends/family.

Have you ever seen this man laugh really hard at anything? Have a genuinely good time? Can you imagine him drinking a beer and playing Uno? Riding a rollercoaster? Wearing a bathing suit and playing in the ocean with Barron?

Some of this can be traced back to his roots. To paraphrase Roxie Hart, he didn’t get enough love in his childhood.

Fine. Fair. But break the cycle, man.

He seems exhausting to be around. No fun whatsoever.

So why do you like him?

I hope the answer isn’t, “He says what I’m thinking.” THAT would be awful (because … that last point, y’all).

I guess I don’t really expect an answer, but I also really don’t understand.

Mystified,
Beth

*Origin (?) of the phrase

**And if you do, it’s not likely to be with a porn star.

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