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Posts Tagged ‘Weird’

A catalog of crimes against common sense #SundayStories

Posted in Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 5, 2026| 6 Comments »

Dear Andrea,

Most guests who visit my condo in Atlanta make very little impression on me. I remember maybe one out of 10. If I remember them, it’s usually for a not-so-great reason.

I’ll remember you.

Why?

Because you made my eyes roll so hard I saw my own brain.

Here’s your review:

I’m going to address each item as objectively as possible.

  1. Built in 1962 by the C.D. Spangler Construction Company, Peachtree Towers was the tallest residential building in Atlanta when it opened and was the first residential building in the center of the city. It’s not new construction. If you want a new building with that new building smell, go somewhere else.
  2. It is a condo building with 330 units, so yes, I guess it will feel like a hotel. 🤷🏻‍♀️
  3. You can’t have a “bargain place” and also luxury linens and pillows. Pick an experience, Andrea. You are paying half the price of a hotel.
  4. There is less than a foot of space between the back of the chair in the living room and the wall/edge of the window. Why are you trying to walk back there? There is NO REASON for that!
  5. The only dresser in the flat is in the bedroom and does not have “tons of little drawers.” So I asked:

No, Andrea. Just no. First, it’s sad and shocking that you’ve never seen a card catalog before. Second, I’m not going to get rid of it for more suitcase storage (what?!). Third, there is AMPLE room on either side of it (five feet at least) for your damn suitcases.

Also, Andrea, please do a better job in the future of picking places that are suited to your needs.

If you want a new building, choose one.

If you want a luxury experience, choose it.

If you want a child-friendly place with pack ‘n’ plays and other baby amenities, choose one. Don’t ask a host to supply them when the host has clearly stated these items are not provided.

(During that exchange, I even said, “I understand if you need to cancel.” Frankly, I wish you had.)

I hope you made it home safely.

I’d say it was a pleasure to host you, but …

At least I got a good story out of it. So thanks.

Best wishes and warmest regards,
Beth

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Feeling peevish over pudding #SundayStories

Posted in Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 29, 2026| 4 Comments »

Dear Organizers of the Georgia State Banana Pudding Festival:

As soon as I found out about this festival and realized it coincided with the day my son Dominic and I planned to drive from Atlanta to Savannah, I knew it was on the agenda.

I’ve been to many festivals and fairs. I have expectations. I can manage those expectations depending on the scope of the venture. Claxton Rattlesnake Roundup? It’s an annual, small-town, lookie-loo event. No expectations. McMinnville UFO Festival? Bigger event with a parade and a weekend of planned speakers. Higher expectations.

The banana pudding festival appears to be an annual state event with enough social media presence to get on the radar of someone in Oregon.

I had expectations.

I did not expect to wait 20 minutes on a two-lane road to be directed into a field to park — one of three, all off this same two-lane road.

I did not expect to wait another 30 minutes in line to pay a $10 entry fee. (Who charges an entry fee at a festival like this?!)

I did not expect to wait another hour in line to pay $10 to sample banana pudding along the “Puddin’ Path.”

This is the line for the Puddin’ Path.
Dominic is so happy to finally be able to eat some pudding.

What — and I mean this sincerely — the fuck?!

One hour and $10 to sample eight versions of banana pudding, two of which were inedible? [One was “sourdough” (What? No. Stop.), and one was pecan praline (so sweet that I immediately contracted diabetes).]

And that’s it. Those eight samples equaled the only banana pudding available at the Georgia State Banana Pudding Festival.

You are deeply unserious festival planners. Clearly.

So what did our entry fee get us?

A vendors fair with all manner of offerings, including “sassy sewing.”
A variety of wood creations and whatnot for sale.
A few people with festival spirit.
Hate crimes in merch form.
An obstacle course driven by a blindfolded tractor driver.
The ability to take this photo.

Not pictured: the 30-minute line for two porta-potties. Yes: TWO.

Also not pictured: The person running for Secretary of State who talked to us about his immigration stance, assuming we had the same political beliefs. Sir, I’m not your target audience, for a variety of reasons.

You know what WAS worth it: Spending this time with Dominic grousing about how lame your festival was. We are two of a kind and ended up having a great time.

So thanks. I guess.
Beth

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“Operation Jaws”

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , on December 7, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Well, the story of the Sharm el-Sheikh shark just got weirder. I thought the anthropomorphism was bad, but the story 36-hour Tina forwarded is much worse.

Read and marvel at the full article. This is an image of the “spy” shark, taken moments before one of the attacks.

Wait — are those robotic fins and laser beams I see? And the Israeli flag too?

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