Why can’t this be me? (The sleeping, not the drooling, hair loss and whatnot)
Dear Sleep:
You and I used to get along so well together. What happened? What did I do to make you leave me?
Remember in college when my roommate would be so jealous of our relationship? Steph the Owl would be paired up with “David Letterman” while you and I were nuzzling peacefully.
I can still hang out with you anytime — except 3 a.m. apparently. That’s when you always make your exit.
To deal with my sorrow, I wrote a set of two haikus. (You know I’m feeling some kind of way if I resort to any kind of poetry.)
Standard bedtime? Yes.
My room is dark. The air? Cold.
No phone near my bed.
Unisom? You — no.
Chamomile tea makes me pee.
What am I to do?
Though being awake in the middle of the night is great for my writing (and this blog, btw), it’s not so great for my face. Luggage under my eyes, wan complexion, zombie eyeballs, etc. (So sexy, I know.)
So Sleep — old buddy, old pal — please can you stay with me all night?
I only want to see the wee hours on my terms.
Kthxbye,
Exhausted
Observe and report 