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Posts Tagged ‘Twitter’

I always ask one question of students on the first day of class. This helps me get to know them a little better, and makes it easier to start class discussions.

Today’s question was this:

Around Jan. 1, most people resolve to start or stop doing something. What is one resolution you would never make?

Think of it as a non-resolution.

Here are 10 things I thought of today that I would never (willingly) give up:

  1. Cheese (my response in the Promotional Writing class)
  2. KISS (my response in the News Writing and Editing class)
  3. Bacon (a discussion topic in the above class)
  4. My MacBook Air that facilitates my Facebook and Twitter habits
  5. My iPhone (also an enabler)
  6. Watching Will Ferrell movies
  7. Reading David Sedaris’ work
  8. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Puffs
  9. Coffee
  10. Shrimp

And my family, of course. (I hear the collective “awww.”)

What are yours?

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After reading some of the things people post on Facebook and Twitter and then having an e-mail argument with my sons’ barely literate soccer coach*, I’m even more concerned about the sad state of education in the United States.

Even John Cusack needs help.

I asked the students in my Business and Professional Writing class if they ever had to diagram a sentence. I was happy to see that most of them had, and they had done it in middle school.

Clearly some teachers are paying attention to fundamentals.

So can anyone explain this?

Or this?

I’d better not watch “Waiting for Superman” if I want to stay out of a fetal position.

 

*The apostrophe placement is correct; my sons play on the same team.

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For reasons that should be obvious from some of my earlier posts, my anthem for this summer is Bowling For Soup’s 1999 song “1985.”


These lyrics in particular really resonate with me lately:

She’s seen all the classics, she knows every line
Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, even St. Elmo’s Fire
She rocked out to Wham!, not a big Limp Bizkit fan
Thought she’d get a hand on a member of Duran Duran

Where’s the mini-skirt made of snake skin?
And who’s the other guy that’s singing in Van Halen?
When did reality become TV?
Whatever happened to sitcoms, game shows, on the radio was

Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie and music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school they tell her that she’s uncool
‘Cause she’s still preoccupied with 19-19-1985
(Woo hoo hoo)

She hates time, make it stop
When did Motley Crue become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make this stop, stop, stop!

I can’t stop time, and I can’t go back to my 20s, so I must find joy in the present. And in the present, I find joy in little things.

Here’s a non-comprehensive list in no particular order of 50 things of things that make me happy.

  1. Doing impressions with Eddie of Tim Gunn.
  2. When Gideon yells “I love you, Mama” in crowded places.
  3. A hot, hilarious, handy husband
  4. Deciding to give up hoping that certain people will stop saying mean, untrue things about Eddie and me.
  5. Realizing that my best will never be good enough for some people, and coming to terms with that (a corollary to the above).
  6. Greek yogurt
  7. Greek yogurt with pomegranate
  8. Montessori school
  9. An iTunes playlist on which artists such as Lady Gaga, Will Smith, Amy Winehouse, OK Go and the Dixie Chicks live together harmoniously.
  10. Kenny Chesney’s “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy
  11. When my mother-in-law isn’t speaking to us
  12. “Everything” bagels
  13. That my father found a woman who makes him happy in his post-Mom life.
  14. Shopping for groceries
  15. Trying new recipes
  16. Having friends over
  17. Close female friends I’ve had for years who “get” me (Trish, Linda, Julia, Tina, Khaki, Heidi, Sophia and Terri come to mind)
  18. Funny male friends (Royce, Billy, Edgar, Alex, James, Ed, Michael — I’m talking about you)
  19. Facebook and Twitter
  20. Certain past and present students
  21. My Beer of the Month Club membership
  22. Grammar, punctuation and spelling errors in the wild because it means fodder for this blog
  23. Hearing the kids sing along to Owl City’s “Fireflies
  24. Primary colors, especially blue
  25. Coffee, specifically in a Starbucks frappuccino
  26. That I killed a venomous snake by myself
  27. Entertainment Weekly and People magazines
  28. AP Style
  29. “Amazing Race,” “Survivor,” “Project Runway,” “Top Chef”
  30. Knowing how to make certain meals, such as empanadas with Spanish rice, without a recipe
  31. Dominic’s interest in science
  32. That Eddie and I know what each other is thinking with one look (a code look)
  33. Cheese
  34. Cranium
  35. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Puffs (of course)
  36. Chickens
  37. That I can figure out a way to get to New York roughly twice a year
  38. Week 10 of the quarter
  39. Apple products
  40. Leaves changing in the fall
  41. Christmas Eve
  42. A quiet house
  43. Candles
  44. Living near lakes, the ocean, and people with pools
  45. Petra’s strawberry cake
  46. Ida’s Iranian cutlets
  47. Dragonflies
  48. Zunzi’s
  49. Walter the Farting Dog
  50. Bedtime

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As you probably noticed, I was on a blog hiatus. Eddie and I took the kids to New York, and it was too hectic to blog. I did Tweet occasionally, but that’s about it.

Here’s the reason we went:

T. Rex and the gang

The American Museum of Natural History was a big hit with the boys, and I got to see some relatives.

Mi gente

We may have spent more time in the gift shop, though, explaining to Dominic why we couldn’t buy him a $78 puppet.

And why Eddie couldn’t have a ridiculous piece of headwear. (Seriously, who buys this stuff?)

We also enjoyed the (free) Staten Island Ferry where the kids got a look at a famous landmark. They both called it the “Statue of Liverty,” which made me laugh every time.

And Times Square, of course.

We also enjoyed gazing at some interesting fashion choices on display, such as this Patternpalooza.

My eyes!

And, the clothing and hairstyle selections of a man we saw on the subway. I give you the front and side views:

But no trip with me can ever be complete without me pointing out sign mistakes.

"Neighborlines" or "neighborliness" -- which is it?

That's a creative spelling of "souvenirs."

If you combine "Belgian" and "Belgium," you have a fancy new word (No. 9).

And finally, above Eddie and Dominic, you’ll see a sign featuring another one of my pet peeves.

Seems to me that the plural of "person" is "people."

I’d give the trip a B+. A few whine outbreaks and near tantrums (not mine, believe it or not) kept the trip from being Grade A.

Now back to the regularly scheduled blogging …

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Shane Marshall Brown, He Who Has Three Names, sent to me a link to a New York Times article about self-appointed Twitter scolds. I love it.

Even though I usually give people a pass for Facebook and Twitter, I’m happy to see others carrying the torch for proper grammar and punctuation.

I wonder if they noticed the Deen Brothers’ tweet with the incorrect apostrophe:

Meanwhile, I’m still busy with loathsome words such as “partner.” Here it is, offending me from behind a glass enclosure at Memorial Health University Medical Center.

Why can’t they just join Memorial? Or be listed as co-sponsors? Or just have the logos without text? Sigh.

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I have a friend, He Who Shall Not Be Named, who enjoys pointing out every mistake I make on Facebook or in this blog. What? You say you are surprised I make mistakes? Oh it is true.

I often make mistakes when my iPhone is involved. It is the spell check feature trying to be helpful. “Thing” turns into “think,” and “the” turns into “Tje” (whatever that means). If I don’t use it, though, “Heidi” becomes “Gefidi.”

I’m not making excuses. Like everyone else, I need to proofread. When I can, I have someone else proofread my work. It is almost impossible to catch all mistakes in your own work by yourself.

It may come as another surprise to learn that I cut people slack in text messages and on Twitter and Facebook. I know people are usually entering status updates on their phones, and may only have a few minutes of attention to spare.

But I often point out (and make fun of) mistakes in the wild, such as ones on signs, fliers, menus, etc., because people have spent money and/or time and effort to create something permanent.

For example, I love Zunzi’s because the food is fantastic. I don’t like to look at the menu because it makes me want to scream.

What is the salad possessing (besides an apostrophe that shouldn’t be there)?

So He Who Shall Not Be Named, you had a typo in one of your Facebook comments this morning. I didn’t point it out. But if you ever make a mistake on a sign or menu, I’m on it like fur on a weasel.

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Trish wasn’t just a chicken. She was a cottage industry. She had a Facebook page, was the theme for my Twitter account, and the star of this blog. So I’m struggling with how to proceed.

For now, she will remain as the inspiration and theme.

And today, I’ll return to a popular topic: signs.

At a sushi place in the Mall of Georgia, I spotted this bit of loveliness:

Does that “sause” get you soused? Sigh.

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In addition to using Twitter and Facebook to communicate, I use social media to procrastinate. And with all the stuff hanging over my head, I’ve been socializing like crazy.

One of the entities I follow on Twitter is the AP Stylebook, of course. The good folks who maintain the account are running a contest. They want people to tweet their reasons for using the stylebook. The “best” answers win a Stylebook Online subscription.

It was an offer I couldn’t refuse.

After considering many pithy responses, I decided on my go-to prop: the haiku. Here is my submission:

I use it daily
To torture writing students.
Cue evil laughter.

I didn’t know AP Stylebook retweeted my entry until I looked at my @ box and saw my post retweeted by a whole bunch of other people after the AP RT. That’s pretty cool. I hope I win …

My entry retweeted

and retweeted again

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What can I offer?

My problem with Facebook and Twitter reared its head when I thought about blogging: What do I have to offer that “followers” would find interesting and not be able to get anywhere else? Yes, I could offer the minutiae of my daily life, but who cares about that? But what if that minutiae consisted of grammar advice with a liberal dose of commentary about chickens? Now that’s something different.

So welcome to my blog: Eats, shoots and lays.

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