Posted in Travel, tagged Academics, Beer and wine, Cultural differences, Food, Government, Out of the house, Peeves, Students, Travel on September 24, 2023| 3 Comments »
Hi Everyone!
I just got back from a trip to China for work. I was in Zhengzhou and Shanghai. I had been to Shanghai before, so I kind of knew what to expect.
However, there were some surprises.
Things I did not have on my bingo card:
It was an interesting and productive trip, but I’m glad to be home.
Beth
*Bowie, of course.
Posted in Friends, Travel, tagged Bright ideas, Food, Friends, Oregon, Out of the house, Travel, White people on August 20, 2023| 2 Comments »
Dear Oregon,
I’m into you. You seem to have all the things I’m looking for in a state:
After a week of 11-hour days, I managed to make time to explore. Three of my coworkers and I headed to Lincoln City on the coast.
Unlike Southern beaches, your beaches are cold and craggy. Beautiful in their own way.
More “Game of Thrones” than “Too Hot to Handle.”
I’m a fan.
After the beach walk, I had the best fish and chips of my life.
Looking forward to exploring all your nooks and crannies.
Love,
Beth, STL/ATL/SAV Transplant
*Here’s a whole song by Sleater-Kinney about the state.
Posted in Home Sweet Home, Travel, tagged Beer and wine, Food, Loneliness, Nudity, Oregon, Out of the house, Outfits, Penises, Portland, Travel, White people on August 13, 2023| 3 Comments »
Hello, and Happy Sunday!
I woke up THRILLED today because I had a great night:
I got to see hundreds of naked men. And women.
But that wasn’t why it was a good night. 😉
It was a good night because I made new friends.
It’s always hard to move to a new city and start fresh.
I got to a point where I was mostly done unpacking and started talking to the cat more than seemed normal.
Did you know Facebook dating has a friendship option?
I didn’t until two glasses of wine into Tuesday night when I was missing my STL Tuesday Game Night friends.
I matched with Jackie. We texted. Had a phone call (this is big for me as I hate to talk on the phone). Didn’t get a serial killer vibe.
She invited me out with two of her friends for the World Naked Bike Ride — supporters not participants.
I learned about this event last year.
Yes, please.
Jackie, Melissa, Jen and I stopped by a grocery store in Portland. While waiting for Jen, an elderly woman rushed up to us:
Ladies, did you know a woman reaches a certain age where she can have as many cats as she wants? It’s called “manypaws.”
Lord have MERCY.
She told another dad joke, then walked off.
Me: Do you know her?
Melissa: No, but that’s Portland for you.
We had dinner. Told stories from our lives. Laughed. Then cheered on people braver than I am.
Melissa is planning a Mrs. Roper bar crawl.
Y’all, I’ve found my people.
Next weekend might feature a hike at a monk hangout with a wine tasting involved. I’ll be sure to report back.
Your friend,
Beth
*Dionne, of course.
Posted in Home Sweet Home, Travel, tagged Complaints, Family, Fear, Job search, Kids, Out of the house, Parenting, Pets, St. Louis, Travel on July 23, 2023| 2 Comments »
Captain’s Log, Day 6 (413 miles logged)
We left the RV parking lot early.
Oregon did not start off impressive.
Things started looking up, scenery-wise, once we started driving along the Columbia River.
Once again, Leo could not be bothered.
Everyone perked up when the landscape started looking like what you would expect from the Pacific Northwest.
We drove up to my new digs and got the key.
It’s got some things going for it (a big front porch, good size overall) but some things against (no central air, bathrooms are on the first floor while bedrooms are on the second).
In fact, I missed my kitchen so much that I CRIED when my utensil organizer wouldn’t fit in the drawer.
It wasn’t about the drawer, though.
It was THE MOMENT that it all became real. I live here now.
I’m so glad I had the family to distract me.
Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged Beer and wine, Family, Food, Games, Government, Kids, Out of the house, Parenting, Pets, Politicians, Politics, Rednecks, Travel on July 21, 2023| 2 Comments »
Captain’s Log, Day 5 (471 miles logged)
It was cold in Yellowstone last night. I was thrilled about that. We slept in and got a late start.
Our first stop was Old Faithful. We did not time it well. According to the online predictor, it wasn’t scheduled to erupt for another 90 or so minutes after we arrived. (I wish I had discovered the predictor before we headed out.)
Our next stop was the Grand Prismatic Spring. We decided to do the overlook hike.
The rest of the drive to the West Entrance of Yellowstone was lovely.
Once again, Leo could not be fussed.
He also completely slept through the bit of engine drama. We had gotten gas (again) and were back on the road. Suddenly, the cruise control failed, and I got an error message that said, “Service Advance Trak.” The ABS light also came on.
We pulled over, and I called Cruise America. Despite the rep insisting we had been buffeted by wind (we hadn’t) or driven with a wheel on gravel (nope) or made a sudden swerve (wrong again), he told us how to reset everything.
The instructions are below. And I’m not exaggerating.
People, believe me when I say that NO ONE was more shocked than I was when it worked.
It felt like Monica’s guide to erogenous zones.
Anyway, crisis averted, we continued through Idaho.
We passed the Idaho Potato Museum, but we were running behind. I didn’t want to set up camp in the dark again. Also, no one else wanted to go.
Eddie: I have no interest in a potato museum.
Idaho makes Wyoming look like New York City. There’s nothing but potato fields, irrigation systems and dust.
Idaho and West Oregon also are bereft of RV parks. We finally found one in Ontario, Oregon, that was basically just a hot-assed parking lot.
It probably would have been better to set up in the dark. It was 93 degrees at 9 p.m.
In Oregon, you have to pay extra for bottled water. So that’s fun. 🙄
(In theory, I’m in favor. In the reality of traveling in an RV with limited space to save bottles, I’m not.)
It was our last night in the RV, so we celebrated.
The kids and I played poker, then called it a night. We had to get up early for the last push to my new home.
Tomorrow: The eagle has landed.
*One of my favorite songs by The Cure.
**Please admire my new shirt.
Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged Disorders, Family, Hormones, Kids, Media, Out of the house, Parenting, Pets, Technology, Travel on July 20, 2023| 8 Comments »
Captain’s Log, Day 5 (80 miles logged)
I deliberately scheduled a limited-drive day. I figured we road warriors would need a break.
The scenery from Cody into Yellowstone is SPECTACULAR. That’s why people make the trek.
Leo, of course, could not be bothered.
On this journey, we have seen flora, but not fauna. So when we finally saw bison, we lost our minds.
Like Leo, the bison were completely unconcerned about our existence.
I really expected to see more critters. Maybe the rangers still have them locked up.
We set up camp at the Yellowstone Fishing Bridge RV Park. We did laundry. Made lunch. Walked to said Fishing Bridge.
Photos do not do this place justice. The word “breathtaking” doesn’t do it justice. Yellowstone is one of those places you really have to see for yourself.
I tried to upload my blog post, but service was spotty. Huge national park. Nature. Go figure. 😉
Dominic, a typical teenager, was bothered by the lack of connectivity.
“What am I supposed to do? ENJOY NATURE?”
All kidding aside, it is beautiful, and we did need to disconnect.
At night, we played card games. All was well.
Next: Old Faithful.
*I’ve always been a fan.
Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged 1980s, Aging, Complaints, Country music, Family, Kids, Out of the house, Parenting, Travel, White people on July 19, 2023| Leave a Comment »
Captain’s Log, Day 4 (375 miles logged)
We decided to eat breakfast in the thriving metropolis of Keystone.
Along the way, we saw more interesting chainsaw sculptures.
But we were there to see two much bigger sculptures.
I did enjoy seeing both these monuments. However, my experience was marred by a few things:
We got on the road to Cody just after noon. Wyoming makes South Dakota seem wildly overpopulated.
There aren’t even any billboards!
It’s flat for miles, then suddenly there was a canyon.
Eddie to me, the driver: Slow down, please.
Me: It’s fine. It just feels weird from over there.
Him: The brake isn’t working.
Me (alarmed): What do you mean?
Him: The brake over here (gestures to the passenger floorboard).
We rolled up to the Cody KOA at 6:52 p.m. When I checked in, I found out that there is a free shuttle to the Cody rodeo every night during the summer.
A RODEO!
But the shuttle would be leaving at 7 p.m.
Eddie didn’t want to go, so he said he’d handle setup. The boys and I ran over to the bus.
You KNOW I wasn’t going to miss my chance. I haven’t seen a rodeo since I covered one in Ludowici, Georgia, when I was a TV reporter.
The only bad thing is that the clown co-MC’s jokes were SO OLD. For example:
What do OJ and that Bronco running around there have in common?
Neither one wants to go to the pen.
Yeah.
Still. A good time was had by all.
Coming tomorrow: Yellowstone
Posted in Parenting, Taxidermy, Travel, Uncategorized, tagged Aging, Family, Kids, Marriage, Movies, Out of the house, Parenting, Pets, Sports, Taxidermy, Travel on July 18, 2023| 4 Comments »
Captain’s Log, Day 3 (490 miles logged)
Get ready, people: This place has everything: saloons, Costner merch, a building decorated with corn, taxidermy (yay!), a massive jackalope sculpture, and an out-of-place T-Rex.
The first night in the RV went well. We had pride in a job well done, as we had never hooked up an RV before. It wasn’t hard at all. I was worried for nothing.
The RV is spacious. It should be at 30 feet long.
Everyone has a space of his/her own.
I’m on the converted dining room table. (The photo didn’t turn out.)
Leo, as you see, is everywhere.
He’s a bed-hopping whore. Leo, not Dominic. (I don’t think Dominic is, anyway.)
You may wonder why Eddie and I aren’t sharing.
Well, it’s because we are divorced. I know that may come as a surprise as I’ve never mentioned it publicly. It’s private.
It’s also obviously amicable, as we are on this road trip together (mutual choice). I mean, we were together for nearly 30 years. We are part of each other’s lives. We are coparenting. And we still like each other!
Anyway, we started in Onawa, Iowa, and made our way through South Dakota. So many things to see along the way.
But I DO care about a cool Wild West town.
The saloon was a big draw. That’s where the refreshments were. No beer, though, which seems like a missed opportunity.
There also was live music.
As soon as Gideon saw the performer, he said, “Yeah, he was born here.”
Our next stop was Wall Drug. There had been 423 billboards advertising it, including one with a command.
We did as we were told.
Narrator: They could have missed it and been fine.
We decided to eat at the Badlands Saloon and Grille. Sadly, our server, Mateo, had no sense of urgency regarding our food and hydration needs.
Thanks to our extended stay in the restaurant, we arrived later than we wanted to the Rushmore View RV Park. We had to set up camp in the dark in the rain. (View? What view?)
Coming soon: Our gang pays a visit to George and his gang.
*This was on a T-shirt at the Corn Palace. Seriously.
Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged Family, Food, Kids, Out of the house, Parenting, Signs, Travel, Trish (the human), White people on July 17, 2023| 4 Comments »
Captain’s Log, Day 2 (492 miles logged)
Loading the rest of the RV and double-checking that the house was empty SUCKED. That is why I looked like this:
My mom picked up the boys from the airport, and I met them for breakfast for a last meal with her.
She had a present for Leo, considering he’s going with me to a very granola place.
We finally got on the road around 10:30 — just two hours later than I hoped.
I’m glad I didn’t need the boys to stay up and keep Eddie and me company.
Eddie and I did see some interesting road sculptures.
But that’s about it.
We arrived at the Sunset at Blue Oasis RV park just before sunset. (Timing FTW!)
We set up shop.
Eddie and Gideon hit the pool while Dominic pouted. He’s addicted to Rainbow Six Siege (withdrawal is hard) and possibly some girl named Emma.
I made chili for dinner, but realized I had made a crucial error: I didn’t pack bowls. I only had one, so we made do, cowboy style.
Dominic said we needed to be listening to an old-time radio show, so he found a ghost-story podcast.
We planned to watch a movie, but exhaustion set in. It was a REALLY long day: Four states and nearly 500 miles.
Next up: South Dakota and the Corn Palace
Posted in Home Sweet Home, Parenting, Travel, tagged Aging, Complaints, Customer service, Family, Fat, Friends, Loneliness, Out of the house, Parenting, Peeves, Rage, St. Louis, Travel on July 16, 2023| 5 Comments »
Captain’s Log, Day 1 (and lead up)
Movers came.
Car transport service came.
I packed the remaining stuff for the RV and worried about space.
The next day, the epic road trip started out fine. I had to pick up the RV in Kansas City, so I hitched a ride with my brother who was headed there for a gig.
Why did I have to get it in Kansas City? Good question. Cruise America doesn’t have any locations closer to St. Louis. It was KC or Chicago. Weird, but ok.
While on the way, Gideon was updating me on the flight. Allegiant flies direct from Savannah, Georgia, to Belleville, Illinois, (close to St. Louis) seasonally. No frills, of course. It’s a sky bus.
Despite my flight tracker saying they were en route and the Allegiant app saying they were on time, they were delayed. No explanation.
According to Gideon, for a moment, it looked like they were going to board. But then, the flight was canceled. No reason given. No attempt to reschedule: Sucks to be you; we’ll give you a voucher.
The next flight out on any airline that would get them there that night was $1,319 per ticket.
Mama ain’t got that kind of cash.
Survey says: Delta for $259 the next morning.
I arranged all this while sitting on a stack of furniture pads in the RV place that doubles as a UHaul rental center.
So that was fun.
They headed home. So did I.
Despite being 30 feet long, the RV is easy to drive. It’s not cheap, though.
What I had been counting on was having help loading the beast for the trip with everything the movers didn’t take.
But that wasn’t the case. My next-door neighbors took pity on me and helped me with some of it.
I organized as much as I could before the heat melted me like the Wicked Witch of the West.
Next up: The adventure begins. For real this time.
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Observe and report 