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Posts Tagged ‘Portland’

Dear Music Fans,

I’ve been on a roll lately — getting out of the house and saying yes to live music. I have thoughts about performances and venues, because of course I do.

And you’re here, because I guess you want to read them.

Acts: The Breeders with Team Dresch
Venue: Pioneer Courthouse Square
Highlight: “Cannonball” by The Breeders

I’m an OG fan of The Pixies. Kim Deal was the key ingredient for their early success. Black Francis needs her, even though his ego thinks he doesn’t. When she started The Breeders, I knew there was room in my heart for both bands.

But like The Pixies, The Breeders can be hit or miss. For every “Cannonball,” there’s a “Hag.” (For every “Wave of Mutilation,” there’s a “Hey.”)

As for the venue, I was concerned about an outdoor space in downtown Portland at the end of summer. I was worried for nothing. It was the perfect temp and size. There were places to stand and places to sit (on steps, until some jackass spilled his entire beer). The acoustics were top-notch. Ravens flew overhead. The stars were out.

The people watching was spectacular. Young and old turned out. I did not realize this, but The Breeders fan base skews lesbian — a fact Team Dresch, also out and proud, noted repeatedly.

They were great, by the way. Never heard of them, but they are from Washington and have been around a while apparently.

The Breeders put on a fun show and had plenty of energy. Kim sounded fantastic, and we all got out of there at 9:30 p.m. on a school night.

Team Dresch: B+
The Breeders: A-

Acts: Squeeze with Adam Ant and Haircut 100
Venue: Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall
Highlight: “Goodbye Girl” by Squeeze

I know what you are going to say: “You said you’d never see Adam Ant again.”

I know.

But he was sandwiched between a band I had seen before and loved (Squeeze) and one I hadn’t and wanted to (Haircut 100).

I figured I could go get a drink if it was that bad.

It wasn’t so bad that I had to escape to the lobby, but it wasn’t great. Adam was more ambulatory than the last time, but his voice was … um … not where one might want it to be for paying customers. And he’s still wearing the same stupid outfit he’s been wearing for seven years — down to Aunt Maude’s best Sunday church hat.

Please stop.

On the other end of the spectrum, Haircut 100 had plenty of energy and put on a great show. Squeeze did too. Difford and Tilbrook have still got it. They sounded the same, and played all the hits.

They also played “Trixies,” a concept album they wrote in 1974 when concept albums were de rigueur.

They played this album right in the middle of their set.

You know how a mattress sags in the middle in a cheap motel?

Yeah.

Everyone just sat down — which is frankly what I thought the middle-aged audience would be doing the whole time anyway. I mean, Arlene is a bougie old gal. We all had plush assigned seats.

After the shock wore off, boredom set in. I might have taken a nap. My concert-mate Jason got antsy and warm (Arlene had a hot flash) and roamed off.

Finally, they pulled up the Trixies sign and kicked back off with “Hourglass.” Everyone got back up and started dancing again as if the last 40 minutes had never happened.

Jason and I never want to hear about loose women at Trixies again.

Haircut 100: B+
Adam Ant: D
Squeeze: A- (without Trixies); C (with Trixies factored in)

Acts: Rob Zombie with Orgy, The Hu and Marilyn Manson
Venue: Cascades Amphitheater
Highlight: “This is Mongol” by The Hu

Sometimes you have to say “Yes” to adventures. Jason and I were last-minute tagalongs on Gerard and Jesse’s date to see this lineup. Marilyn Manson is a trash person, but I was interested in the rest.

As it turns out, the singer for Orgy might be trash too — so much so that sources say they got kicked off the tour before the prior show.

Lawn seats at the amphitheater were reasonable, but we nearly needed to take out personal loans for the rest. Want a beer? That’s $25. A Rob Zombie tank top? $50. A burger, fries and soft drink? Also $50.

I would have paid more to see The Hu, though. They are REMARKABLE. I don’t even have the words to describe their sound or energy. They use a horse head electric fiddle played upright, for God’s sake!

Next was Manson. The music is good, not gonna lie. I hate that I like it. But I wasn’t there for him … and his dead swan.

In addition to pissing off birds everywhere, he angered the crowd by screaming “Portland” after every song. The amphitheater is in Ridgefield, Washington.

I also wasn’t there for his nightmare-inducing bassist.

Liza Minnelli Manson and whatever that is

I killed time by discussing the Clancy case via text with Dominic and also convincing him to start listening to The Hu immediately.

Rob was next, but there was a significant set change. There also was a significant temperature drop. Though I had been mocked by someone I will not name for bringing a jacket, I was glad to have it.

Rob started off strong with “F.T.W. 84” and “Tarantula.” The set was indeed elaborate. He was very funny, but said something alarming: Rob said there were 17,000 people in attendance.

Um.

That meant 17,000 people leaving at the same time if we all stayed to the end.

Spoiler: We did not hear “Dragula” live.

We skedaddled during “Feel So Numb.” To be honest, he sounded out of breath. He is 61 after all.

At least we weren’t from running to the car to beat the rush. And we made it back to actual Portland in no time.

Orgy: 0
The Hu: A+
Marilyn Manson: B (for sound); F (for the person delivering it)
Rob Zombie: B (partial credit)

What’s next? What’s left of the Sex Pistols in Denver. I’m sure I’ll have opinions (because of course I do.)

Love and kisses,
Beth

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Hi everyone!

It’s been a while. I don’t have an excuse beyond rain, work and lethargy.

I went out this week with a coworker who grew up Mormon. As a student at BYU, she was asked by a boy, “What’s your talent?”

Like most people would be, she was astounded.

But that religion is about getting, having and keeping a man, so …

That phrase made me think: What’s my talent?

I can write — when inspired (and not hampered by rain, work and lethargy).

I can cook complicated dishes. Homemade ravioli? NBD.

I can tie a cherry stem in my mouth with my tongue. (Party trick FTW!)

I can follow directions. (Please put me as your No. 2 for “The Amazing Race.” I will not disappoint.)

I can meet a deadline like no one else.

I am organized as f—-.

I am an excellent travel agent and companion.

I’m the “yes, and?” friend — up for any adventure.

I can even do these adventures on my own.

For example, I needed to kill time in Portland before I headed to the airport. I found the Peculiarium.

Seemingly right up my alley.

And it was, except the gift shop was larger than the main attraction.

Here are some photos of the highlights so you don’t have to spend time and $10 when you are in Portland.

True crime dollhouse
A new friend
Oh nooooo! Things have gone horribly wrong for me!

Anyway.

What was scarier was this house next door:

This doesn’t seem safe.

Maybe there are talented contractors out there who can help this old house.

I’m not interested in that adventure. I can be handy if necessary, but that needs more help than I can provide.

What’s your talent?

Tell me everything.

Beth

*OMC — blast from the past.

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Dear Monét X Change,

I owe you an apology. I did not fully appreciate your work at the event last night.

As much as I like you in general, I was there for the sole purpose of seeing Big Freedia.

Everyone knows how much I love Big Freedia.

I mean, why else would straight, middle-aged me go to this?:

Lord knows that I am not the target audience.

My friend Wendy went with me. We were definitely the oldest people there by about 25 years. Two of a handful not in costume. And I’d bet a rainbow flag that I was the only heterosexual.

Not that any of this matters. It was a fun night. It was nice to get out, as my new job has consumed my life.

BUT we were there to see Big Freedia. And while I appreciate that you stepped in last minute when Freedia had a family emergency, I wasn’t really feeling your set.

I also wasn’t feeling the four bathrooms and two small bars for 500 people.*

I WAS feeling a new friend named Derek, though. Literally. He asked me to fix the garter buckle on the stockings of his sexy nurse costume. I was happy to help, and I ended up with what he proclaimed as my “new twink son.”

Anyway, thanks for your service.

Happy Halloween!
Beth

*not an exaggeration

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Hello, and Happy Sunday!

I woke up THRILLED today because I had a great night:

I got to see hundreds of naked men. And women.

But that wasn’t why it was a good night. 😉

It was a good night because I made new friends.

It’s always hard to move to a new city and start fresh.

I got to a point where I was mostly done unpacking and started talking to the cat more than seemed normal.

Did you know Facebook dating has a friendship option?

I didn’t until two glasses of wine into Tuesday night when I was missing my STL Tuesday Game Night friends.

I matched with Jackie. We texted. Had a phone call (this is big for me as I hate to talk on the phone). Didn’t get a serial killer vibe.

She invited me out with two of her friends for the World Naked Bike Ride — supporters not participants.

I learned about this event last year.

Yes, please.

Jackie, Melissa, Jen and I stopped by a grocery store in Portland. While waiting for Jen, an elderly woman rushed up to us:

Ladies, did you know a woman reaches a certain age where she can have as many cats as she wants? It’s called “manypaws.”

Lord have MERCY.

She told another dad joke, then walked off.

Me: Do you know her?

Melissa: No, but that’s Portland for you.

We had dinner. Told stories from our lives. Laughed. Then cheered on people braver than I am.

Melissa is planning a Mrs. Roper bar crawl.

Y’all, I’ve found my people.

Next weekend might feature a hike at a monk hangout with a wine tasting involved. I’ll be sure to report back.

Your friend,
Beth

*Dionne, of course.

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