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Just another MAGA Monday* #MondayMadness

November 11, 2024 by Beth

To Trump Voters,

Well, it appears you got what you wanted.

Now we are all in the Finding Out stage of F—-ing Around.

I hope it works out, but I’m afraid it won’t.

I haven’t forgotten his first term,

Though I’m not a fan of Biden’s Department of Education (see FAFSA failure), Trump’s was terrible too (hi, Betsy DeVos).

Now he just wants to just get rid of the DoE altogether.

Without the Department of Education, what becomes of special needs programs? Head Start? Pell Grants? FAFSA overall?

Oh, money is going back to the states? Riiiiight. Sure it is. I’ll bite: How? What’s the process? How is it not going to be a disaster like FAFSA was/is?

Why do I care? I work in higher education. I am worried about my job in a way I’ve never had to worry about in any other presidential election.

Also, Vance called professors “the enemy.” So that’s great. 🙄

If I lose my job, I can’t sleep on the street. SCOTUS said so.

Plus, I’m middle aged. The sidewalk would hurt my back.

Ordinarily, if the candidate I voted for didn’t win, I’d be disappointed, but I’d go about the business of living my life. Just regular grousing.

It’s different now.

Among many other ‘bright’ ideas, Trump said he wants to bring back prayer in schools (which is a violation of the separation of church and state, and unconstitutional as of 1962), eliminate birthright citizenship (which is against the 14th Amendment of the Constitution**), and plans to go through with mass deportations of millions of people (with “no price tag” — isn’t that the OPPOSITE of smaller government you said you wanted?).

Y’all did say you care about the economy and immigration, so let’s start with the latter.

I don’t think you know who picks your food. Who works on your roads. Who builds your houses. And it will deter people in the tech, engineering and medical fields as well.

There will be a price tag, alright. And we will all pay it.

Deporting illegal immigrants will collapse our economy. Also, we are talking about HUMAN BEINGS with full lives and families in this country. What are they going “back” to? What about the people who have no ties to their country of “origin?” What’s wrong with you?

So let’s talk now about the former, supposedly a big issue (even though the Economist says the U.S. economy is the envy of the world).

Someone wrote on Twitter (it will never be X to me):

Hard times create Democrats.
Democrats create good times.
Good times create Republicans.
Republicans create hard times.***

It’s worth noting that EVERY REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT has had a recession. Economies perform better under Democratic presidents.

You don’t believe me? Look it up.

dO yOUr oWn rESeaRch.

I did my own reconnaissance on the price of things, just for an “OMGTHINGSARESOEXPENSIVE!!” baseline. (They aren’t.)

Note that I’m in Oregon, where cost of living is higher for many things. Produce tends to be lower, though. Still, I’ll check back in on these prices once Trump really gets going.

It’s worth noting that this is the lowest gas has been since I moved here.

I meant to take a pic of coffee. That’s something we import the shit out of. And bananas and sugar. I’ll document those on my next grocery run.****

If Trump starts with his insane tariff plans, costs for all those will go up.

I don’t think you understand tariffs. Or economics. Or definitions of economic systems.

Let me help.

Capitalism: Private individuals and companies offer goods and services. They control production and distribution.

Socialism: The community owns goods and services through a centralized government. Individuals can own property.

Communism: Everything is owned by an authoritarian government. No private property.

Marxism: A critique of capitalism that focuses on the exploitation of workers. Marx said the next step is socialism after the workers rebel.

And while we are at it, here are three more:

Fascism: A system of government where a dictator has complete power — squashing criticism and opposition while emphasizing extreme nationalism.

Authoritarianism: A system of government where the power of the state — either one person or a small group not accountable to the people — is more important than individual freedom.

Oligarchy: A form of government in which a few people or a dominant class holds all the power.

Huh. Those three sound a little too familiar.

Anyway. I did what I could before the election to counter the misinformation you all were lapping up like my naked cat drinks water. I tried. And I voted. Even though my ballot has STILL not been counted, according to the online tracker. (Starlink, again?)

All I can say is this:

I hope you get what you voted for.

Beth

Just putting this here for proof. Ignore the apostrophe (“High’s”). The rest is accurate. (I didn’t make this graphic.)

*Sorry, Bangles.

**Not that it matters because the majority of SCOTUS carries water for the Orange One. And it’s not like he cares about what’s legal anyway.

***A change to this quote.

One final thing: I DARE someone to say, “Your body, my choice” to me. It will be hard for him to speak again with his balls in his throat. #fact

Try me.

And I love this guy.

****UPDATE: Photos from my last grocery run

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Hot hot hot* #TuesdayTravels

November 5, 2024 by Beth

Hey kids!

Auntie Beth wants to share some travel advice to distract you from A VERY BIG THING happening today.

If you like near-death experiences, the pervasive smell of weed, and 20-somethings in beanies, Auntie Beth has the place for you:

Oregon’s Umpqua Hot Springs

Doesn’t this look delightful? (Photo credit)

Soak Oregon will put the fear of God in you: “The last few miles [to the trail head] are on a rough road, so we recommend a high-clearance vehicle.”

Don’t pay any attention to that. (Auntie Beth nearly rented a Jeep. She would have been PISSED OFF if she had wasted that money. She was totally fine in her tiny, low-clearance VW.)

Soak Oregon also warns, “This trail is steep.”

Do pay attention to that.

The part that has a makeshift hand rail does not need it, and the part that absolutely does need one does NOT.

Auntie Beth tripped on a tree root and nearly toppled backward onto her man friend, which would surely have sent him to his death (not that she is being dramatic in any way).

A rare quiet moment at the hot springs.

There should have been warnings about other things.

• Facilities. The U.S. Forest Service notes a vault toilet on site. It does not mention that the smell emanating from it is akin to a fleet of porta potties after Lollapalooza.

• The horde of hippies. It was just after lunch on a Tuesday. Auntie Beth had taken the day off. Had all these young people done the same thing? Or was this their job as “influencers” or something? There were so many of them — probably 40 total in pods of five and six — clogging all the pools.

• Dress code. Auntie Beth had been warned that Oregon hot springs are nakie. She was resigned to her derobed destiny. What she found might have been worse: the entire Columbia Sportswear catalog.

• Pot. The Hot Springs Hippies LOVED them some weed. Auntie Beth is no square, but does not understand the allure of smoking when edibles exist. (Don’t people care about their lungs?) Also, secondhand smoke is AWFUL. So skunky.

Auntie Beth took this pic after the first wave of visitors cleared out.

With rising concern (i.e., panic) about the hike back down, a burgeoning pot-induced headache, and general distaste for crowds, Auntie Beth felt the need to cut her visit short.

See that tight-lipped smile? Auntie Beth is not feeling the restorative effects of the hot springs.

No fewer than two wannabe travel guides insisted that Auntie Beth and Man Friend should explore the lower pools.

“No, thank you.”

If this sounds like your idea of a good time, ENJOY!

One of the locals Auntie Beth met at the nearby convenience store did say that the time to go is first thing in the morning as no one is there.

(Right. That’s because it is SO VERY COLD outside.)

Anyway, tell them Auntie Beth sent you.

*Buster!

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

A guest post! #SundayStories

November 3, 2024 by Beth

Dear Readers,

I love a guest post, and it has been a WHILE. Today’s comes from Kerstin, who shares a tale of a house divided.

I’ll be back with an original post on Election Tuesday.

Love,
Beth

My daughter, a junior communications major, uses social media for work, but Facebook is for old people like her grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles worldwide and probably some former teachers and coaches. Every now and again she will post pictures of what she’s doing away at college. We ask if we may tag her in pictures when we are together.

Despite being six hours away, we remain close — probably chat daily, about anything and everything. It’s the relationship we are choosing to have with each other.

Last year, she introduced us to her boyfriend. We had seen him in her group of friends since freshman year and have enjoyed welcoming him to our home during holidays and spending time together when we visit her.

We were introduced to his parents during a tailgating party at their university. He plays football. Despite differences, we have common ground: the kids.

As I was scrolling through social media one night, I saw a meme she had reposted. I treated it like every other political meme I see: I scrolled right past it — not because I agree or disagree with it, but because I’m a fan of hurricane memes and not much more.

It was late. I kind of thought “oh boy” to myself — almost certain she would be inviting comments from those opposed to her views. That’s totally fine, but whose opinion has ever been changed by a meme on Facebook? (Even if it should have?)

I went to sleep and woke up to a message including a screen shot: a response from her boyfriend’s father regarding the meme. Oh boy! 

The meme that was reposted by my daughter:

“we cancel out each others votes!!”
“you’re dating a man that doesn’t care if you live or die.”

The response from the father:

“Very extreme, emotional and a false narrative. [My son] would be the first one to put his life on the line to save others. Would you? You now have the right to vote and choose as it should be. It’s a state issue and always has been.”

First things first: the good news.

My daughter’s boyfriend immediately sided with her, and reached out to the dad. I am glad he sides with my daughter, and even more pleased that he didn’t cancel out her vote.

My daughter then responded to the dad rather lengthy and pleasantly unhinged and unfiltered. If he didn’t know where she stood before, he does now. That paired with phone calls from his son should have triggered an apology. Instead he fled into the lie that he thought he was responding to the original poster.

Dude, what a lame lie, how would the original poster know the son? Who knows how old the original poster is? Is that person even a U.S. citizen? Eligible to vote? A simple humble apology would have been a solid choice. But no, the verbal attack was followed up by a lie that he holds onto.

Going forward, I have won the happy couple to host for holidays, vacations and the just because.

But really there are no winners here.

We are going up to the parents’ chili cookoff at the final home game of the season. It’s the weekend after the election.

Note from Beth: That should be fun. I’ll have to check in with Kerstin to see how that went.

Posted in Guest post | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

We are Family* #ThursdayThoughts

October 31, 2024 by Beth

Dear Eddie,

Thanks for coming to Family Weekend to surprise Gideon. He loved having you here and being able to talk to you about his classes.

I love that we can still spend time together like regular people/parents even though we are divorced. It’s good for us and for our kids.

Gideon and Mikayla even ditched a Halloween party with their friends to hang out with us and play cards.

(And no, you are not the reigning Uno champ in anyone’s record book. Ask Uncle Pat.)

I was glad you were here this weekend for another reason: I got to see your reaction in person to this:

“Comedy” at its finest, amirite?!

(To all people defending him and the rally in general: Explain the joke. Tell me like I’m five how it’s funny and not offensive. And if it’s that he’s a “shock comic” that took aim at everyone, tell me why there weren’t any jokes about white people. Seriously.)

I could almost see the blood boiling beneath your skin.

One thing Trump didn’t do at the rally, surprisingly, was repeat his stupid claim that children go to school for gender reassignment surgery.

Trump’s team saved the lie for a text blast AFTER the rally. Great. Also, HOW did I get on their list?

Me: Can you imagine? The school wouldn’t even give Gideon a Tylenol for a headache without a note from me!
You: But yet they have surgery suites with doctors and nurses in one of the classrooms. Sure.
Me: And all within a school day! When teachers are buying supplies out of their own pockets. Right.
You: How can anyone believe this?

It was just like old times.

The good news is that Gideon is just like us.

After I texted him what I said to a high-school “friend” who called the MSG rally “patriotic” (the same rally that one of the speakers — radio host Sid Rosenberg — called “a Nazi rally“), he texted the following. (We all curse like sailors so I sanitized it for publication.)

Thought I’m a fan of his POV, I’d love some punctuation.

By the way, did I tell you that he sent in his request for an absentee ballot back in September and Georgia (specifically Chatham County) STILL hasn’t sent it? Same for Mikayla. He’s been calling to no avail. It’s maddening. And Georgia is a swing state too. SIGH.

Anyway, thanks again for coming. It was good to see you.
Beth

*Now you’ll be singing this all day.

Posted in Parenting, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

George Soros paid me to write this* #SundayStories

October 13, 2024 by Beth

Dear Certain Facebook Friend,

I really think you need a hobby that does not involve using an “independent browser.” You’ve gone way down the conspiracy-theory rabbit hole.

In addition to hopping on board the HAARP bandwagon, you are, naturally, an antivaxxer.

You posted this recently. Are you really wanting to go back to 1890s knowledge? They were still using cocaine as an all-purpose pain reliever, for crying out loud!

There doesn’t seem to be a conspiracy theory you don’t embrace.

Sigh. Where to begin with this?

Oh. My.

Here are SO MANY tinfoil-hat buzzwords:

Later in the post, you mention the Deep State (of course).

AND, the grandpappy of them all, GEORGE SOROS.

Lord have mercy.

Let me get this straight:

COVID was a well-planned global conspiracy coordinated via the corrupt George Soros-owned media and search engines. The mRNA-DNA altering injections (i.e., vaccines) were sold for massive profits — killing people with the “Pfizer clot shot” while the unvaxxed were hunted.

This is what you said.

OK.

So.

Let’s put aside simple facts such as mRNA doesn’t alter DNA, the vaccines were/are free, and no one hunted unvaxxed folks. There are a couple of other issues:

All the countries of the world agreed to do this: Russia, Ukraine, North Korea, U.S., China, etc.? And they all worked together well and kept it a secret? Like I told you, I can’t even get three people to keep a secret about a Christmas present.

Who exactly benefited from this plot? COVID crashed economies. What’s the point of killing so many people with COVID or with the vaccine? Were they enemies of the DEEP STATE? Did they KNOW TOO MUCH? Somehow I doubt it.

Why is anyone hunting unvaxxed people? There’s no need. I mean, I believe in survival of the fittest. You don’t want to get vaccinated? OK. Polio, measles, cholera, etc. will take you out soon enough.

I’m surprised you didn’t mention THE LIBERAL ELITES.

Side note: All “experts” are not in academia. Look at all the scientists, economists, etc., all over the world.

You know, I have a good position at a university. Shouldn’t I be part of this club? I’ve been working in higher education for nearly 30 years. Shouldn’t I have gotten an invitation by now? I’m a little put out. How am I supposed to know how to indoctrinate students without the official guidelines?

Um … didn’t this dude go to Yale?

I’m also surprised you didn’t warn me off my Alexa. You’d be right about surveillance, though: I’m sure that old ‘ho IS listening all the time and making notes.

Fine. I don’t care. What’s she tracking? When I need cat food? Good.

If Bill Gates wants to implant a chip in me and track my movements, he can go right ahead.

It’s not like I’m plotting a global conspiracy.

Back to that.

Let’s say, just for kicks, that you are right — that you and the rest of the 5G nutters have stumbled onto the truth of a cabal and exposed their machinations. (You haven’t, but let’s pretend.)

So what?

What are you going to do about it?

What if the earth IS flat? (It’s not.)

So what?

How does it affect you?

What if the moon landing WAS fake? (It wasn’t.)

So what?

How will your life change?

It won’t.

It genuinely does not make a difference to you or to me or to anyone in our daily lives. We are still going to go to work, hang out with friends, take care of our families, clean our houses, plan vacations, pay bills, go to dinner, etc., every day whether George Soros buys another TV station or not.

So my recommendation is to get off the Internet (dark web, light web, private browser, whatever) and go get some fresh air. Have a few analog days. Or weeks. Or maybe even months.

When you come back, take a page out of Finland’s playbook for its schoolchildren and practice critical-thinking skills.

With genuine concern for your health,
Beth

*He didn’t. Obviously.

Posted in Education, Friends, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Everyday I write the book* #ThursdayThoughts

October 10, 2024 by Beth

Dear Blog,

I’m so glad I have you. I know I ignore you sometimes. But Stella always gets her groove back.

I get sand in my shell, and my posts become my pearl. Well, they are pearls to me.

“Any writer worth his salt writes to please himself … It’s a self-exploratory operation that is endless. An exorcism of not necessarily his demon, but of his divine discontent.”
–Harper Lee

What’s interesting to me is that what some readers find pearls are the exact posts that others find to be sand still.

For example, in election years, my posts seesaw between some kind of topical outrage and mundane daily life. Those who love the former also seem to like the latter.

But not all who like the latter also like the former.

I’m sure it depends on whether the person agrees with me or not.

However, if I don’t write, I might die.

 “Words are a lens to focus one’s mind.”
–Ayn Rand

It’s my chief creative outlet. It gives me a reason to get out of the house. (Sometimes it is the only reason.)

And through the magic of technology, I can schedule posts — a fact a former coworker (aka Mean Girl) didn’t understand. I’m convinced she friended me on Facebook just to spy on me. She complained about me to my boss, saying I was using work time to write. My boss told me. I was incredulous.

“Does she not understand how this works?” I asked him. He shrugged.

“A word after a word after a word is power.”
–Margaret Atwood

Here I get to vent my spleen about her and others.

“I write to discover what I know.”
–Flannery O’Connor

I also get an excuse to do research like I did when I was a full-time journalist.

“When you make music or write or create, it’s really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you’re writing about at the time.”
–Lady Gaga

Ultimately, this blog is for me. Maybe it’s for others too. It’s not for everyone. I’m OK with that.

Love,
Beth

*The other Elvis

Posted in Random | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Gypsies, Tramps, Thieves, Liars, Fools and Marjorie Taylor Greene* #SundayStories

October 6, 2024 by Beth

Hey kids!

Auntie Beth is back to help you make sense of the weather.

If Marge from the holler is trying to tell you the gub’ment is controlling the weather, don’t believe her.

This is the same person who thought that Jewish space lasers caused California wildfires.

Also, she’s PART of the government.

Also, she’s said humans don’t cause climate change (but if they did that it’s good for us.).

But humans DID cause Hurricane Helene?

Really, it boggles the mind.

But MTG isn’t the only halfwit out there tweeting (er .. Xing) nonsense.

  1. Application (louder for people in the back)
  2. Abandoned
  3. Sound waves
  4. Joins applications for fun things like time travel and invisibility cloaks and urinal headrests
  5. Can’t we get rain over deserts?

But wait, here’s more:

Ok, y’all: I’m going to address just one thing to bring the rest of this nonsense into focus:

These storms brewing in the Atlantic at the same time? Not a coincidence.

That’s right. That’s because IT’S HURRICANE SEASON.

Hurricane season runs June 1-Nov. 30 EVERY YEAR.

It’s at its most active in late August and September when water temperatures in the Gulf and in the Atlantic are at their warmest.

(Reality check: When was Hurricane Katrina? Aug. 29, 2005. Who was president? George W. Bush. When was Hurricane Andrew? Aug. 24, 1992. Who was president? George H. W. Bush.)

Facebook reminded me I was worried about the path of Hurricane Matthew at this time eight years ago.

So a little check back around this time every effing year would find a few storms brewing in the Atlantic. These storms have gotten more intense. Why? CLIMATE CHANGE, YOU ABSOLUTE TURNIP.

(Ok. I’m breathing. I’m breathing. In with the good air. Out with the bad.)

Back to the U.S. government controlling hurricanes. Does it? No. Did it? If you count some light cloud seeding back in the 1960s-1980s? Still no (it didn’t work).

Auntie Beth recommends you stop believing complete buffoons and liars and start believing and helping people who want to do things such as:

  • Reduce carbon emissions
  • Replace and repair critical infrastructure
  • Find and fund insurance for homeowners and renters in areas potentially most affected
  • Build storm-resilient structures
  • Develop new clean-energy sources and technology

If you can’t do that, at least stop sharing misinformation on Leon’s sinking barge of barf.

Auntie Beth thanks you.

*Sorry, Cher.

Posted in Education, Politics, Technology | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

The time of our lives* #SundayStories

September 29, 2024 by Beth

Dear Billie Joe, Tré and Mike,

Thanks so much for taking the Saviors Tour to Portland. Because of you, I got to share a special evening with my son.

I’m a Green Day fan — perhaps not a super fan, but a fan nonetheless. I love live music of any sort. Gideon is a Green Day fan. I’ve been trying to steal his Green Day shirt for a year now. And his girlfriend loves Smashing Pumpkins, one of the openers.

It seemed like a no-brainer for us to go.

So we did.

Heavy rain (yay, Oregon!) and traffic (yay, Portland!) and difficulty parking (yay, Providence Park!) meant that we missed the Linda Lindas and Rancid, which made me very sad. We did arrive in time for Billy and the gang, though, which made Mikayla happy.

Typically the home stadium for the Portland Thorns, Providence Park is a great music venue with fantastic acoustics.

Sadly, our open-air floor seats meant we needed our rain ponchos at times.

Didn’t matter. Totally worth it.

When you played “Longview” (Gideon’s favorite), he said, “I’m so happy, I think I might cry.”

And I thought I might cry too.

It was only Gideon’s second concert, if you can believe it.

His first also was with me.

He was not even a year old. I was wearing him in one of those baby Bjorns at the Police reunion tour stop in New Orleans in 2007. (Long story for another time. Going to the concert with kids wasn’t part of the plan, and a friendship ended over it.)

You sounded AMAZING! As good if not better than the recordings. And you’ve been at it for 37 years. Fitting then that it was a 37-song set list.

37 songs!

All of “Dookie.” All of “American Idiot.” Plus a few more classics.

Billie Joe, you seemed choked up too.

Maybe it was because it was the second-to-last night of a very long tour. Maybe because it was a great night. Maybe we were all sharing something special.

So thanks. From the bottom of my jaded little heart.

❤️,
Beth

*”Good Riddance”

Posted in Music | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Hurt people hurt people* #ThursdayThoughts

September 19, 2024 by Beth

Dear Trump Fans,

Before you think, “Oh, here she goes again — another political post,” let me assure you that it’s not. No policy points here. It’s about personality. It’s about Trump the man.

I don’t like him at all.

I know, I know: I’ve hidden it so well. 😉😂

The only time I even liked him a wee bit was when he wore a yellow suit on SNL.

So my genuine question for you: Why do you like him? As a person? Not as a candidate.

I’m going to make some general sweeping assumptions. I might be wrong on a few when it comes to bets on you, but I’m not wrong on him. See links.

He’s just so different from you (and from me) as a human being.

You worked hard for your money. He didn’t.

You pay taxes. He doesn’t.

You pay your bills. He doesn’t.

You work to keep your business afloat. He doesn’t.

You love spending time with your family. He doesn’t.

You have friends. He doesn’t.

You don’t mock people with disabilities. He does.

You don’t lie. He does.

You have to work at least eight hours a day at your job. He didn’t.

You don’t call people names. He does.

You wouldn’t take a bribe. He likely did.

You give to charity. He misused charitable funds.

You likely have pets. He doesn’t.

You might be able to dance. He can’t.

You wouldn’t bury your dead ex spouse on your land. He did.

You don’t cheat on your spouse.** He does.

You aren’t gross about women in general. He is.

You haven’t raped anyone. He has.

You haven’t been convicted of a felony. He has.

I would hope you aren’t racist. He is.

A couple of these on the list might not be a problem. I mean, not everyone can dance. Some people are allergic to pets. But a collection of more than four or five, and we are starting to get into weird territory.

And those last three are deal breakers for my fan club threshold.

You might say, “But Beth, I don’t have much in common with Taylor Swift either.” Yeah. But she has friends. Cats. Gives to charity. Works hard. Ticks off a number of “like us” boxes.

He’s not like you. Like me. I’m sure you are a good person with a good work ethic and good friends/family.

Have you ever seen this man laugh really hard at anything? Have a genuinely good time? Can you imagine him drinking a beer and playing Uno? Riding a rollercoaster? Wearing a bathing suit and playing in the ocean with Barron?

Some of this can be traced back to his roots. To paraphrase Roxie Hart, he didn’t get enough love in his childhood.

Fine. Fair. But break the cycle, man.

He seems exhausting to be around. No fun whatsoever.

So why do you like him?

I hope the answer isn’t, “He says what I’m thinking.” THAT would be awful (because … that last point, y’all).

I guess I don’t really expect an answer, but I also really don’t understand.

Mystified,
Beth

*Origin (?) of the phrase

**And if you do, it’s not likely to be with a porn star.

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

(No) Poker Face* #WednesdayWomen

September 11, 2024 by Beth

Ladies, do you suffer from FAFO Face like VP Harris?

I know I do.

If you try to stop your face from moving, your thoughts come out through your eyes.

Trust me. I nearly killed a coworker last week, Homelander style.

In its mildest form, it manifests as RBF.

So what can we do?

Not a damn thing. Folks need to get over it. (Or stop doing stupid stuff to cause the face. 😄)

Here’s a handy decoder:

“Oh you think so, do you? FAFO.”
“Let me get this straight.”
“Bitch, please.”
“I’m laughing at you, not with you.”
“Come on, now.”
“This MFer.”
“Do tell.”
“I’m just going to look down at my notes, because my face has nothing nice to say.”
“Oh, honey. I actually feel sorry for you.”

Now let’s test your knowledge. What is my face saying to you?

A. This bar is great.
B. The decor is unique.
C. I found love in a hopeless place.
D. I want to murder this man who sat four inches from me despite the fact that there were 10 empty seats at the bar.

If you said D, then winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Whatever you do, don’t be this guy:

It’s misogynistic and akin to “you should smile more.” Frank, how ’bout you train yourself to STFU.

If you need it, here’s a dude saying roughly the same thing:

It’s an extra layer of communication. Useful, I’d say.

I mean, just think about how moms operate. All you needed was THE LOOK from your mom, and you stopped your buffoonery immediately.

In retrospect, I should amend my first line. I do not “suffer” from FAFO Face. I actually celebrate it! I have the ability to communicate effectively without words.

But here are three:

Bite me, Frank. 😉

*Lady Gaga gives good face. That arched eyebrow!

Posted in Politics, Random | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

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