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Can’t we all just get along?: The Batman and Robin version

March 20, 2010 by Beth

Dominic may look like Eddie, but he is totally my son on the inside. He asks a billion questions, likes to talk, gets obsessed with an idea and can’t let it rest, etc.

He is also a budding writer.

One of his favorite lessons at school is to tell a story to his teacher, who writes it down, then he illustrates the story.

It is a Montessori school, so his stories have a very polite angle. One could even say “anticlimactic.” See for yourself:

These are very different from the soap operas I wrote in high school (Kelly, you’ll remember those), but I love that he is a storyteller too.

Posted in Random | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments »

Nearly out to pasture

March 19, 2010 by Beth

Eddie looks like the picture of health: a tall, brawny, handsome rascal.

The truth is that he is a wreck. In the past five years, he’s had surgery on both his knees, his left shoulder, has endured bouts of plantar fasciitis, and had his nose fixed twice.

Then there’s his heart. Two years ago, he felt short of breath and went to the hospital. The doctor said, “atrial flutter,” got his heart back in rhythm and sent him on his merry way. Little did we know that was the beginning of a long road. Atrial fibrillation, then a couple of cardiac ablations, yada yada yada, and he’s back in the hospital.

Yep, I just “yadayada’d” over a couple of years of a lovely relationship with Dr. Jenkins, the cardiologist. Let’s put it this way: After each ablation, the doctor said Eddie wouldn’t have any more problems.

Last night, after basketball at open gym, Eddie was back at Memorial. And his third ablation is scheduled for Tuesday. Fun.

He’s going to be discharged soon. In the meantime, he’s having a fabulous time with his favorite adjudicator, Judge Mathis.

Here is my theory:

While he doesn’t experience atrial extravaganzas every time he plays basketball, every time the atrial business happens, it is after basketball. And all his ailments detailed above are basketball-related. So, I’m thinking he needs to limit his basketball intake to watching March Madness. Anyone with me?


Posted in Random | Tagged , , | 5 Comments »

Web writing deserves copy editing too

March 17, 2010 by Beth

I know I just wrote a new post, but then Caila, SCAD Radio‘s general manager, shared this with me:

Full link here.

Forget that the writer clearly doesn’t know AP Style. She has bigger issues. Evidence: the very first sentence. I’m guessing she meant “descend” not “decent.”

But wait, there’s more. Gaze upon this section:

So let’s help her out on the big ones:

  • “dies” should be “dyes”
  • “chanel” should be “channel”
  • “affect” should be “effect”

I love the “rumor vs. reality” theme, and I like her voice. What I don’t like, of course, is that it is riddled with mistakes she should have caught. And I’m guessing Savannah Morning News writers post directly to the Web without benefit of a copy editor’s glance.

SIGH.

Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments »

A new cast member?

March 17, 2010 by Beth

We went to visit my niece at Camp Lejeune last weekend, and came home with this:

"Mocha"

When my niece got pregnant, she found a new home for Mocha. But last week, the dog was back at her house thanks to the microchip. The new owners, who never changed the chip info, apparently let her get pregnant, took the puppies, and left Mocha on the side of the road.

Because my niece is about to give birth and already has a toddler — all while her marine husband is in Afghanistan — we decided to take the dog home with us and try to find a good home for her.

It is looking like that home may be ours. Someone stop me before I adopt again …

Posted in Random | Tagged , , | 7 Comments »

Great balls of fire!

March 13, 2010 by Beth

So I’m on high alert for interesting signs now. My friends know this, and have shared some spectacular ones. This is the one everyone sent me this week:

Nope. Still not right.

Near “South of the Border” (!) I discovered a place with a treasure trove of fireworks. The labels are amazing. Check it out:

Perfect for St. Patrick's Day

There’s nothing grammatically wrong, but I’m not sure I like the idea of flaming balls.

Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged , , , | Leave a Comment »

Youth = gone

March 11, 2010 by Beth

My transformation is now complete. I am now part of the “Mom” species. Yes, I know I have two kids and have been a mom for a while. But this week, I became a Mom with a capital M.

One of my students said about me, “She is like the cool mom.” And that aged me 10 years.

Then Dominic started soccer practice. And that added 10 more. I’m a freakin’ Soccer Mom. Feeling middle-aged and frumpy. How did this happen?

Soon, I’ll be shopping at JCPenney for Mom jeans. Thanks to SNL, I can show you what I mean.

The good news is that the boys love soccer. I’m happy because they’ll learn teamwork and get some exercise. Too bad the sand gnats like soccer practice too.

Dominic (blue shorts) learns fundamentals

Gideon's got mad skillz

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A doozy

March 7, 2010 by Beth

This sign defies explanation. Please gaze upon its hideousness, while I cluck in dismay.

Posted in Chickens, Grammar, etc. | Tagged , , | 6 Comments »

What now?

March 6, 2010 by Beth

Trish wasn’t just a chicken. She was a cottage industry. She had a Facebook page, was the theme for my Twitter account, and the star of this blog. So I’m struggling with how to proceed.

For now, she will remain as the inspiration and theme.

And today, I’ll return to a popular topic: signs.

At a sushi place in the Mall of Georgia, I spotted this bit of loveliness:

Does that “sause” get you soused? Sigh.

Posted in Chickens, Grammar, etc. | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment »

Chicken laid to rest

March 3, 2010 by Beth

Trish La Gallina was laid to rest in a private funeral service held Wednesday morning

Funeral service held for murder victim
From Staff Reports

Distraught family members stood solemnly at Trish La Gallina’s graveside as Beth Concepción, La Gallina’s mother, delivered the eulogy.

“We’ll miss you so much,” she said, her voice cracking. “No other chicken can replace you.”

La Gallina, 1, died Monday after an altercation with her sister, Maggie The Dog, 8, in the family’s back yard. Their father, Eddie Concepción, found the body Tuesday morning. Maggie is in custody, and has confessed to the murder. She is represented by their brother, attorney Vince The Dog, who said he plans to enter a plea of temporary insanity.

The family held a private, side yard service Wednesday morning. In addition to Beth and Eddie Concepción, La Gallina’s older brothers Dominic, 5, and Gideon, 3, were in attendance.

“We love you, Trish,” Dominic said as their father threw the first shovel-full of dirt into the hole he dug next to La Gallina’s coop.

The family banned both Maggie and Vince from the ceremony. There is no date scheduled yet for Maggie’s trial.

Posted in Chickens | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Murder in the ‘ham

March 2, 2010 by Beth

Domestic dispute leads to murder

From Staff Reports

A apparent domestic dispute led to murder in Effingham County Monday afternoon. Trish La Gallina, 1, was reportedly killed by her sister, Maggie The Dog, 8, after an altercation in the family’s back yard. Their father, Eddie C., found Trish’s broken body Tuesday morning.

“I looked out the back door and thought, ‘Oh shit! Those are chicken legs!'” he said. “I was like, ‘Oh no. I really don’t want to tell [their mother].'”

Warning: Graphic images

 

The pair’s mother, Beth C., appeared to be in a state of shock, and refused numerous interview requests.

This is not the first incident between Maggie and Trish. Eddie C. reported that Trish was the lone survivor of an attack by Maggie one year ago. That attack resulted in the deaths of three other poultry siblings. Maggie was convicted of those murders, and was sentenced to life in the detention facility of the gated back yard or inside the house. She also was ordered to stay at least 10 feet from Trish for the rest of her life.

Maggie apparently disregarded that restraining order when the side gate was left open by Eddie himself.

“I was working on the back door, and was going back and forth to the garage,” he said. “I didn’t know I had left it open. I felt horrible because I realized it was my fault.”

Murder suspect: Maggie The Dog

Unwitting accomplice: Eddie C.

Maggie was arrested Tuesday morning and charged with first-degree murder. Her brother, attorney Vince The Dog, said that Maggie will enter a plea of temporary insanity.

“Trish kept taunting her, clucking in that way of hers,” he said. “When Maggie saw that the gate was open, she just couldn’t help herself.”

Eddie said that his wife wants to adopt more chickens, but that it is too soon to make any concrete plans.

“There’s not going to be another chicken that smart,” he said.

A funeral service will be held at the family’s house March 3.

Posted in Chickens | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments »

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