Warning: This post contains use of extreme sarcasm.
Dear Certain White People:
Hi. Me again. You seem very defensive lately. Dare I say easily offended? Even fragile?
You say you feel attacked because of the color of your skin? Something you can’t change!
The nerve! How dare people judge you based on your appearance?
Let me assure you: You are a very special snowflake. Of course NOT ALL WHITE PEOPLE are racist.
Surely no one can ever accuse you of racism when you are “just stating facts.” Like this:

And I FULLY understand that Aunt Jemima shouldn’t offend anyone as even her great grandson doesn’t want her image removed.

OF COURSE her image isn’t perpetuating the “mammy” stereotype and imagery of black servitude to whites. She was a REAL WOMAN, for crying out loud. It’s just pancake syrup!
And I HEAR YOU when you say your history is being destroyed when these LIBTARDS take down Confederate statues and remove the Confederate BATTLE flag. It’s HERITAGE NOT HATE. Yes, of course it is.

There, there.
I understand that equal rights must be like pie: More for others MUST mean less for you. That’s why you are so upset. All these things affect you personally. OF COURSE they do.
Shush now. It will be OK.
I’ll talk to that mean blogger friend of mine who tried to refute clear statements of fact such as, “If we had WET (White Entertainment Television), we’d be racists.”
I mean, can you IMAGINE if white people wanted that? I’m not sure how it could be whiter than it is has been, but you should be able to find a way. You’re WHITE!
I UNDERSTAND that All Lives Matter. We are all EQUAL. OF COURSE we are. Systemic racism and COVID-19 are things dreamed up by those aforementioned LIBTARDS to whip people into a frenzy and distract from the REAL issue: That damn Hillary’s emails!
Here’s a white man talking about racism. Because OF COURSE.
I know, I know: It’s not FOX News or InfoWars. But he’s a good Christian!
No, I promise you ARE NOT embarrassing yourself. I know you’ve read important research like this.
You are in the right here, as you ALWAYS are. I DON’T UNDERSTAND why ANYONE would disagree with you. How DARE those SJWs! They’re just virtue signaling.
I’m SO SORRY you have to go through this. Things should just STAY THE SAME, amirite?
That unwillingness to evolve DOES NOT mean that you are racist. OF COURSE you aren’t. Some of your BEST FRIENDS are black.










Hey Y’all:




























So many people who are TA. Join me to read/comment/marvel. @AITA_reddit #ThursdayThoughts #ThursdayTantrums
Posted in Advice, tagged Advice, AITA, Bright ideas, Comments, Complaints, Coronacation, Disorders, Family, Marriage, Media, Obsessions, Pandemic, Parenting, Peeves, Rage, Reddit, Twitter, White people on May 13, 2020| 3 Comments »
Hey Everybody!
Some days, the only thing keeping me going, joy-wise, is AITA on Reddit via Twitter.
Lingo to know:
AITA=Am I the Asshole?
OP=Original Poster
NTA=Not the Asshole
YTA=You’re the Asshole
TA=The Asshole (duh!)
ESH=Everyone Sucks Here
NAH=No Assholes Here
INFO=Not Enough Information
I go for the posts and stay for the comments. (Hats off to @WholeManDispose EVERY TIME!)
Anyway, let’s play a Coronacation game.
Here’s a multiple-choice quiz based on recent submissions. One rule: Make your guesses before checking out the feed. Answers below.
1. An OP complained about his wife sticking her hands down her pants at the dinner table. What was she doing?
A. Fixing her underwear.
B. Trying to be sexy.
C. Checking to see if it was her time of the month.
2. Are any of these appropriate at the dinner table?
A. Yes, OP is TA.
B. No, OP is NTA.
3. In a post just two days later, a different OP complained about his girlfriend bleeding all over their sheets during her time of the month. Why did this happen?
A. She didn’t realize she could still have periods.
B. He refused to buy her sanitary products at the store.
C. She didn’t feel like getting up to get a pad.
4. An OP complained about her husband refusing to name their soon-to-be-born son a family name (first-born son tradition for more than 100 years) so she wouldn’t be disinherited. What was the name?
A. Adolph
B. Gaylord
C. Stacey
5. In No. 4, the community determined what?
A. OP is TA and will scar her child for life.
B. OP is NTA and family traditions are important. Also, money.
C. ESH.
6. There is a follow-up post to No. 4 from the OP regarding the impending divorce.*
A. True
B. False
7. An OP, a nurse who leaves the house to work, complained that her husband, a lawyer who works from home, didn’t help her 8-year-old son find his dog while she was at work. What was he doing?
A. Cheating on her.
B. Taking care of their six-month-old daughter.
C. Playing Xbox.
8. An OP is mad that his girlfriend didn’t do what during the pandemic?
A. Organize her bedroom just like his.
B. Text him back after he texted her 31 times.
C. Come live with him instead of her parents.
9. An OP asked if he is TA for secretly getting a paternity test on his son. Why?
A. OP is white and his wife is black. His son is darker than his daughter.
B. OP thinks his wife cheated on him.
C. OP had a vasectomy, so therefore knows B.
10. An OP wants to know if she is TA for telling her stepdaughter not to switch out the food for OP’s cat, Mango, for what?
A. Human food.
B. Generic dry cat food.
C. A vegan diet.
Bonus point!
11. An OP is bewildered that the community determined that he is TA for what behavior?
A. Trashing his son and daughter-in-law on Facebook for lying about going to the in-laws’ house for Mother’s Day.
B. Being such a jerk that his son felt he had to lie about his whereabouts.
C. Doubling down on his actions in the post after the community weighed in.
D. All of the above
Answers:
1-C
2-B
3-C
4-B
5-A
6-A
7-C
8-A
9-A
10-C
11-D
* An update to the update: OP now claims it was all made up. Eh. Who cares? We’re all bored.
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