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Posts Tagged ‘Travel’

Southern comfort #SundayStories

Posted in Home Sweet Home, Travel, tagged , , , , , , on April 11, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Dear Fellow Southerners:

I don’t think we know just how weird we are until we get around people who “ain’t from around here.”

Y’all* know I was just in Savannah. While there, I had to load up on things I can’t get in Oregon.

  1. Collard greens. When I find them in Oregon, the leaves are small and anemic. I’m used to ones the size of tobacco leaves.
  2. Barbecue sauce. Vinegar-based. Don’t give me any of that sweet Kansas City crap.
  3. Crab Shack hot sauce and seasoning. They also have a mustard-based barbecue sauce that’s pretty good.
  4. Applewood-smoked bacon. There is no comparison to meat from the Ogeechee Meat Market.
  5. Pimento cheese-flavored popcorn. Yes, please.
  6. Fresh okra. I asked for it at Roth’s the other day, and you would have thought I asked for a package of human fingers.
  7. Coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts. That is not a Southern thing, but there’s no runnin’ on Dunkin’ in the PNW. Probably because of Starbucks. I don’t want DD ground coffee. I can get that. I want the in-store brewed coffee. So I froze a Box o’ Joe and packed it.

More than half of my 44-pound suitcase (!) filled with groceries.

One morning this week, I woke up singing “BFE” by Kane Brown. That was the morning I decided to have fried okra for breakfast. That’s right: cut, bathed in egg, coated in a mix of seasonings, flour and corn meal. For breakfast. I made it slightly healthier by popping it in the air fryer.

And so I’m singing the song, dredging this okra in breading, and I realized this:

You can take the girl out of the South, but you can’t take the South out of the girl.

I smiled, and kept on going.

My okra was amazing.

Look at it!

Clearly, I ain’t from around here.

And that’s ok. It makes me appreciate my background even more.

All y’all have a good day, ya hear!

Your Redneck Friend,
Beth (the devil who went down to Georgia 😂)

*Legit contraction not limited to the South anymore.

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Lost in Space #SundayStories #SaintMaybe

Posted in Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 6, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Dear St. Anthony,

I’d love your help in finding the parking access card, building fob and door key for my Airbnb.

Veronica the Cleaner took a pic of the bundle last Sunday to show that the guest returned it.

But when Amit checked in Friday, it was nowhere to be found.

There were no guests in between.

Unless I hosted ghosts. Or aliens.

I try to offer a five-star experience, so I set to work to try to fix the issue, even though I was in Savannah trying to spend some time with Gideon on his spring break.

The fob was the immediate concern. Well, the property manager only works Monday-Friday, and she was off Friday. NO ONE ELSE can distribute them. Fob is a no-go until Monday.

I still needed to get a new access card and key and to change the code on the lock.

I have friends in Atlanta, but that’s a big ask.

As I was flying through Atlanta on my way back to Portland, I decided to see if I could extend my layover.

The noon flight was sold out. Standby didn’t look promising. The 3 p.m. would get me there at 4, but my PDX flight left at 7.

Three hours to get out of the airport, run these errands, and get back through security?

My blood pressure is skyrocketing just thinking about it.

ANXIETY INTERLUDE.

I could either sit in the airport fretting for hours or get on the road.

I canceled my SAV-ATL flight and rented a car.

I have two sayings:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.

Bad decisions make good stories.

I got quite an experience and a story.

All was well until I entered Atlanta’s orbit. I am from Atlanta. I know traffic.

We always say, “Atlanta is an hour away from Atlanta.”

This was worse than almost anything I had ever seen. Add one hour to the journey.

Peachtree Street was a hot mess.

I mean … WTF?!? Seventeen minutes to drive 2.6 miles.

I got to the condo, grabbed the extra set of keys, and found a hardware store. That was the easy part. PASS!

Next I tried to change the code on the door lock. Somehow, I have the wrong programming code saved in my phone and no tools to take off the lock to get at the info inside. FAIL.

I went to the parking garage to get a replacement access card. The person who can do this works Monday-Friday. NO ONE ELSE can distribute them. Of course. FAIL.

So if you are keeping track, you can tell that I got virtually nothing accomplished. I wasted time, money and energy.

I am a glass-is-half-full person, so let’s look on the bright side:

  • I earned Skymiles and Expedia OneKeyCash on the car rental. Clearly that’s better than keeping my actual money. 🙄
  • I got to test drive a Subaru Forester. It’s THE car for folks in the Pacific Northwest. I’m trendy!
  • I got to catch up with my friend Jennifer on a two-hour call. Two hours! Y’all know that’s huge for me.
  • I met Amit, who is lovely, and now has a brand-new door key. Hope he gives me a good review. I did go the extra mile. 😉
  • I got my heart pumping thanks to road rage. Can we call it a Traffic Tantrum? (My agita!)
  • I really got to SEE Peachtree Street. Never paid much attention to most of the buildings before.
  • And also Peachtree Center Avenue, onto which I detoured.

Then I had to race to the airport.

It was … not a fun trip. And not productive. But at least I tried.

Tony (if I may be so bold), it would be great if you could somehow make the wayward items turn up during Amit’s stay.

Speak to the aliens, please. Have them beam them back down.

Thank you!

Your pal,
Beth

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How bizarre, how bizarre* #SundayStories #NotEasterrelated

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2024| 3 Comments »

Hi everyone!

It’s been a while. I don’t have an excuse beyond rain, work and lethargy.

I went out this week with a coworker who grew up Mormon. As a student at BYU, she was asked by a boy, “What’s your talent?”

Like most people would be, she was astounded.

But that religion is about getting, having and keeping a man, so …

That phrase made me think: What’s my talent?

I can write — when inspired (and not hampered by rain, work and lethargy).

I can cook complicated dishes. Homemade ravioli? NBD.

I can tie a cherry stem in my mouth with my tongue. (Party trick FTW!)

I can follow directions. (Please put me as your No. 2 for “The Amazing Race.” I will not disappoint.)

I can meet a deadline like no one else.

I am organized as f—-.

I am an excellent travel agent and companion.

I’m the “yes, and?” friend — up for any adventure.

I can even do these adventures on my own.

For example, I needed to kill time in Portland before I headed to the airport. I found the Peculiarium.

Seemingly right up my alley.

And it was, except the gift shop was larger than the main attraction.

Here are some photos of the highlights so you don’t have to spend time and $10 when you are in Portland.

True crime dollhouse
A new friend
Oh nooooo! Things have gone horribly wrong for me!

Anyway.

What was scarier was this house next door:

This doesn’t seem safe.

Maybe there are talented contractors out there who can help this old house.

I’m not interested in that adventure. I can be handy if necessary, but that needs more help than I can provide.

What’s your talent?

Tell me everything.

Beth

*OMC — blast from the past.

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A show that really takes the biscuit* #SundayStories

Posted in Cultural differences, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 3, 2024| 5 Comments »

Dear British Folks:

You know how I love your TV shows. I can’t get over the full frontal on regular TV.

Even your reality shows are so different from ours in America. They are just so civilized. I mean, just look at the “Great British Bake Off.” The competition is with THEMSELVES. “Oh this tart. It’s just not my day” and the like.

But then there is “Four in a Bed.” I saw a side of you people that shocked me to my core.

(Interruption for people who aren’t familiar with the show: Four innkeepers take turns staying at each other’s places then rate them on facilities, breakfast, host attitude, etc. They also pay what they think the stay was worth. There’s a winner at the end.)

In Season 14, Episode 1, Mandi didn’t like that Natalie, who wears the pants in her relationship with Mark (contestants noted this repeatedly), deducted some points for cleanliness because there was a dust layer on the nightstand.

Well. That meant WAR.

When it came time for the stay at Mark and Natalie’s, this lady stood on the nightstand to find cobwebs on top of the four-poster bed. She was on her hands and knees in the bathroom to look close enough to find wee stains in the toilet grout. She deducted points for two hairs on the carpet. A six for cleanliness was a low blow, considering she only gave a two to “Sleeperdorm” that actually had a wee-stained mattress and suspicious drips down the wall.

I’ve never seen a more vicious show in your country.

And I watch plenty of British TV.

Anyway, thanks for making me feel better about our miserable Housewives and whatnot.

Tra!
Beth

*Love me some slang.

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In the Navy* #SundayStories

Posted in Parenting, tagged , , , , , , on February 25, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Dear RDC Jarmon:

Thank you for leading my son. Dominic clearly looks up to you and credits you with helping him get through Navy basic training.

I guess I should blame you for my tears.

😉

To be fair, they were happy tears. And they were at an appropriate time: Pass-In-Review on Thursday.

I was so proud of Dominic. He was proud of himself too.

Dominic marches with his division.
See?! Proud.

What’s funny is that people have asked me if we are a Navy family — if that’s why Dominic enlisted.

“No, not really,” I’d say. Both of my fathers did a stint in the Army. Eddie’s sister too. My nephew was in the Marines. I have good friends who were in the Navy, but no family.

Then my mom sent this photo:

I was wrong. That’s my grandfather!

So Dominic comes by it honestly.

Now he’s in Coronado, California, for pre-BUD/S.

Yeah, Dominic wants to be a SEAL.

If anyone can do it, he can. He has the determination (read: stubbornness). When Dominic wants something, he will not rest until he gets it. (Trust me: I’m his mother. I’ve seen it.)

And when he does become a SEAL, we will have you to thank for helping him on his journey.

Thanks again,
Beth, a proud mama

*A classic.

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Party in the USA* #SundayStories

Posted in Friends, Music, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 7, 2024| 4 Comments »

Dear Savannah Friends,

Many of you expressed concern about my social well-being when I saw you over the holidays.

Fair.

I do need to get out more. Try to meet more non-work people.

So this week, I did two things in two different places with two different sets of people:

Line dancing in Salem and a drag show in Portland.

How is that for running the gamut?

Those of you who have known me a while know that I haunted Stetsons in Savannah for line-dancing nights back in the day.

Salem, Oregon, is apparently a hotspot for line dancing. (Who knew?)

The colleague who told me about this event did provide some additional information.

It was great! I had fun and got some exercise. People were very welcoming.

That was Thursday night. I went to Darcelle XV in Portland on Friday night.

It was not like any other drag show I’ve seen. I’m used to acrobatic, can-pass-as performers working the crowd. This show was more like a cabaret stocked with Joan Crawford/Bette Davis clones in evening gowns. To tip, you threw your money in a bowl at center stage.

It was a good evening with friends, but I probably wouldn’t go back to the regular show. There’s an “open mic”-style drag show on Tuesdays that looks more interesting.

Still, I could have had a terrible time at either or both of these places and been happy to be out.

My next big event out should be a doozy:

Stay tuned.

Love,
Beth

*Love me some Miley.

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Rock down to Electric Avenue* #TuesdayTrouble

Posted in Advice, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on December 18, 2023| Leave a Comment »

Dear Thrifty Car Rental:

Do not rent out electric vehicles. Seriously.

I’m a fan of them, in general, but they are not suited for the rental market for two main reasons:

  1. Miles possible on a charge.
  2. Availability of charging stations.
  3. Time to charge.

Ok, so let’s discuss No. 1. I was told at the JFK rental counter that the Chevy Volt that was forced on me** would get 250 miles per charge.

Perhaps that’s true if the owner takes care of the car. But this Volt was a rental. I was told it was fully charged when the rental fellow turned over the keys.

It didn’t look charged to me:

It looks like it has just over half a charge, but what do I know?

So I went on my way to visit my father on Long Island.

That brings us to No. 2. Random charging stations are available here and there, but there are only a few plugs at a time. With more and more people driving electric vehicles, sometimes there is a wait to charge. There’s also the No. 3 issue. I’ll get to that in a moment.

I found a charging station six miles from my father’s house. It was in a parking lot near a fire station. Luckily, he was able to go with me to set the car on charge, then we drove around and had lunch.

What if that hadn’t been an option?

And here’s the biggest problem: Time to charge (No. 3).

We left the car charging for 2.5 hours. And that wasn’t enough to get it fully charged from a 65-mile drive.

2.5 HOURS!

I had to find another charging station on the way back. (Why? To avoid the $60 fee for bringing it back on less than 100 percent charged. Seems like you REALLY like that dollar figure.)

This time, I managed to find a fast-charge place by a mall. There were five charging units, but only three were working. I had to wait to get one.

I plugged in the car, and waited. Tethered like a teenager to TikTok.

The charging unit said one hour to 80 percent charge. The Volt said 34 minutes to full charge.

Can you guess the Volt’s problem?

My guess is battery health.

It’s not like these cars are cheaper or cooler to drive. And you still have to pay for charging, so there’s no major saving over gas.

Home use is a great idea. I borrowed my friend Marlane’s Kia EV over Thanksgiving, and it was fantastic. I set it on charge in the garage overnight once it got low.

But for a rental? No thanks. Bad idea.

If you won’t take my advice, please just make a note in my file that I never want to rent one again.

Thanks,
Beth

*A classic.

**I got the manager’s special rate with the best available car. The Volt is what was offered. I asked (read: begged) for a regular car. No, ma’am, unless I wanted to pay $60 extra.

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China girl* #SundayStories #ShanghaiSurprises

Posted in Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , on September 24, 2023| 3 Comments »

Hi Everyone!

I just got back from a trip to China for work. I was in Zhengzhou and Shanghai. I had been to Shanghai before, so I kind of knew what to expect.

However, there were some surprises.

Things I did not have on my bingo card:

Sweet and sour popcorn fish
What amounted to drinkable kerosene (106 proof!)
A Rolls Royce golf cart for a tour of a university campus
A campus that looked like Disney World mated with Las Vegas
A bowling alley inside the student center
A military parade featuring all 8,000 freshmen
A welcome ceremony that rivaled the opening ceremony for the Olympics
Liberace’s furniture in my hotel room
A bathroom with a viewing window
Duck (I think) to go at the airport
The amount of full-on staring people did at our group
The taxi ride from hell: snorting/coughing and texting driver who wouldn’t turn the air on but wouldn’t turn off the turn signal

It was an interesting and productive trip, but I’m glad to be home.

Beth

*Bowie, of course.

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Light Rail Coyote* #SundayStories

Posted in Friends, Travel, tagged , , , , , , on August 20, 2023| 2 Comments »

Dear Oregon,

I’m into you. You seem to have all the things I’m looking for in a state:

  • Mountains
  • A coast
  • Many rivers and lakes
  • Cool cities
  • Local wine and beer
  • Robust agriculture (berries, grapes, hazelnuts, etc.)
  • Interesting people
  • Next Door filled with drama

After a week of 11-hour days, I managed to make time to explore. Three of my coworkers and I headed to Lincoln City on the coast.

Unlike Southern beaches, your beaches are cold and craggy. Beautiful in their own way.

More “Game of Thrones” than “Too Hot to Handle.”

I’m a fan.

After the beach walk, I had the best fish and chips of my life.

Sorry, England: We win. Again.

Looking forward to exploring all your nooks and crannies.

Love,
Beth, STL/ATL/SAV Transplant

*Here’s a whole song by Sleater-Kinney about the state.

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That’s what friends are for* #SundayStories

Posted in Home Sweet Home, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on August 13, 2023| 3 Comments »

Hello, and Happy Sunday!

I woke up THRILLED today because I had a great night:

I got to see hundreds of naked men. And women.

But that wasn’t why it was a good night. 😉

It was a good night because I made new friends.

It’s always hard to move to a new city and start fresh.

I got to a point where I was mostly done unpacking and started talking to the cat more than seemed normal.

Did you know Facebook dating has a friendship option?

I didn’t until two glasses of wine into Tuesday night when I was missing my STL Tuesday Game Night friends.

I matched with Jackie. We texted. Had a phone call (this is big for me as I hate to talk on the phone). Didn’t get a serial killer vibe.

She invited me out with two of her friends for the World Naked Bike Ride — supporters not participants.

I learned about this event last year.

Yes, please.

Jackie, Melissa, Jen and I stopped by a grocery store in Portland. While waiting for Jen, an elderly woman rushed up to us:

Ladies, did you know a woman reaches a certain age where she can have as many cats as she wants? It’s called “manypaws.”

Lord have MERCY.

She told another dad joke, then walked off.

Me: Do you know her?

Melissa: No, but that’s Portland for you.

We had dinner. Told stories from our lives. Laughed. Then cheered on people braver than I am.

Melissa is planning a Mrs. Roper bar crawl.

Y’all, I’ve found my people.

Next weekend might feature a hike at a monk hangout with a wine tasting involved. I’ll be sure to report back.

Your friend,
Beth

*Dionne, of course.

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