Dear Film Buffs:
It is summer blockbuster season, y’all.
I want to talk about movies.
I want to talk about movies I love and movies I hate.
I want to talk about movies that are my personal litmus test.
If you don’t like these movies, I’m not sure we can be friends:
1. Pulp Fiction
This is Tarantino’s best. Don’t @ me with that “Reservoir Dogs” crap. Quotable moments, a John Travolta comeback and inventive storyline? Shit … That’s all you had to say. If you don’t like it, I don’t know what to say.
2. The Princess Bride
I like it so much that I have a line from it permanently etched on my person. (If you like the movie, and I like you, I might show you.) You were on the fence about it until this post, and now you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
3. Tommy Boy
Chris Farley and David Spade at peak performance. If you don’t laugh at the airplane bathroom scene, there is something wrong with you. You’re just a big, dumb animal.
4. Horrible Bosses
I’ll watch Jason Bateman in anything, but he’s at his finest as straight man here. And Colin Farrell has the perfect role. Don’t get me started on Jamie Foxx, murder consultant.
5. Bridesmaids
Melissa McCarthy slays. Every. Single. Scene. My love for her comes out of me like lava. (She’s also great in “Spy.”)
I was going to stop at five, but here’s an extra (possibly controversial) movie for good measure:
6. Napoleon Dynamite
With this one, I understand you have to be in the right mood. Otherwise you don’t get it. I was worried about showing this to my kids because, if they didn’t like it, I would have to kick them out of the house. ‘Cause I do whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!
Honorable mentions: Guardians of the Galaxy, The Incredibles, The Avengers.
Yes, there’s a theme. Want to guess what’s on my most-hated list? Lots of dramas.
1. The English Patient
Like Elaine said, just die already. I don’t give a rat’s ass about all the Oscars.
2. Batman vs. Superman
Don’t try to argue that this isn’t a drama. It totes is. Typical no-humor DC mierda. It was so boring that I fell asleep and DIDN’T MISS ANYTHING.
3. Steel Magnolias
It’s the only movie that ever made me nearly walk out of the theater. The accents were not even the worst part. The Southern clichés, predictability, scenery-chewing … I could go on. I won’t.
4. Black Swan
Another Oscar darling. Just no. A better Darren Aronofsky film is “The Wrestler.”
5. The Hateful Eight
If I have Tarantino’s best, then the worst needs to be on a list too. I wanted to like it. I didn’t. The pauses/silence worked in my No. 1; they did not work here. So boring …
And, another possibly controversial choice for No. 6:
6. The Lord of the Rings anything
Before you hire a hitman, let me say that I like fantasy (Harry Potter, Star Wars, Pan’s Labyrinth), etc. I just don’t like this fantasy. Why? Because of stupid stuff like the tree that is supposed to be all-knowing doesn’t know shit is going down in his forest. I know, I know: “Read the books.”
There you have it. Disagree? Come at me, bro. Maybe you’ll get lucky and get me in a transitional period. It’s not inconceivable.
Bottoms up,
Beth
Observe and report 
Escape from … all this #SundayStories
Posted in Home Sweet Home, tagged Bright ideas, Celebrities, Circles of Hell, Comedies, Comments, Complaints, Crushes, Dramas, Emotions, Entitled White Dudes, Feelings, Feminism, Gender expectations, Gender roles, Georgia, Hobbies, Home, Home Life, Hormones, Love, Man Crush, Media, Netflix, Nudity, Objectification, Obsessions, Politicians, Politics, Rage, Reality TV, Rednecks, Seasons, Shocking, Stereotypes, Stress, Stupidity, Suggestions, Television, Tequila, The beach, The South, Trash TV, Trump, TV, Villains, White people, Women on August 16, 2026| Leave a Comment »
Hey y’all. It’s been a while, I know.
I’m not dead. Clearly.
I’m just … gobsmacked at what is happening here (i.e., this freakin’ country) on a daily basis. I can’t even believe it, and I don’t want to write about it. It’s like writing about it makes it more real.
So I’ll write about reality TV instead, my escapism go-to (as you know).
My favorite genre is what one might loosely term “love.” You know: “Love is Blind,” “Temptation Island,” “Too Hot to Handle,” etc.
Pretty twentysomethings cavorting in bikinis stirring up chaos thanks to hormones and underdeveloped frontal lobes.
It’s drama, but it’s not MY drama. And so I can turn off my own frontal lobe and enjoy the show.
Lately, I’ve been plowing through Season 8 of “Love Island USA.” I somehow managed to miss Seasons 3-7 (whaaaat?) and was very surprised to see this host, Ariana Madix, the Temu Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Who is this person? Where did she come from? Why was she chosen? I need someone with a strong personality like Nikki Glaser to be in charge of this thing. I don’t care that Shein Avril Lavigne is a great clothes hanger.
Anyway. This season has all the things I love:
I’m not done with this season yet, but I have enjoyed the heck out of every moment. Kenzie, especially, is good TV. Look at this girl:
Plus, she’s from Kennesaw, Georgia. Of course I’m going to root for her.
I’m having a hard time rooting for Sincere, though, as are the others in the Villa, judging by these reactions to his machinations captured on camera and shared during “movie night.”
Look at that. Priceless.
I’ve got my popcorn. It’s great!
You know whom I’m not thinking about while watching “Love Island?”
One of the best things I’ve noticed since the first two seasons is that the characters have evolved/matured.
I also love the occasional “Aftersun” episodes with Tefi and Ciara. Those are two fun women who seem like they could be my friends.
Yes, I do watch “real” TV too: I’m watching the weekly episodes of “Silo” plus working through “The Four Seasons” and Season 4 of “The Sinner.” There’s only so much of Bill Pullman looking pinched I can take before I need to see a beautiful half-naked person do a “vibe check” with another.
If you want to pull me for a chat about this show or similar trash, drop a comment.
Until then, I’ll be camped out on the sofa enjoying young adult theater.
Love,
Beth
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