Dear Men in Relationships with Women:
“Am I the Asshole?” on Reddit is alive with the sound of squabbling. One woman is upset about her boyfriend who doesn’t do chores (and doesn’t flush). A man thinks his girlfriend should do all the chores because she works from home.
Men, have you heard of the concept of mental load? No? Let me share it with you. (Thanks to Goat Yoga Lisa for introducing me.)
You don’t have time to read this whole thing? Yeah, women don’t either.
That’s the point. And the pandemic has made everything worse.
When did women sign up to be house managers? Hint: We didn’t.
Maybe in the Cleaver-style 1950s, things were more equitable. Men worked. Women stayed at home, raised the kids, and kept house. But now most women have full-time jobs and STILL have all the things to do at home.
Yes, there are exceptions. Yes, I’m oversimplifying. Yes, yes, yes.
But still my point remains.
I know you want to @ me with sentences that start with:
- “But not all men … “
- “But what about … “
- “But I do … “
Please don’t.
Look. Listen. I’m sure you are lovely and think you are an equal partner.
But I bet you are not.
Ask the lady in your life. Listen to what she says.
Now that I’m conscious of mental load, I notice things I never noticed before. Gender roles are so ingrained.
A couple of weeks ago, we were visiting the house where my sister in law is staying until she gets her own place. It’s the home of a lovely professional couple. We were all outside chatting: three male adults, two male teenagers, three female adults. The lady of the house was being a good Southern hostess — getting drinks, bug spray, snacks, etc. My SIL disappeared. I found her in the kitchen alone making dinner. I rolled up my sleeves and started helping. We were in there working on dinner for about two hours while the guys had a nice chat outside.
To recap: Women inside making dinner or serving snacks/drinks. Men outside relaxing.
To be fair, when my SIL asked a couple of the men to help with one part of the dinner, they did.
But they had to be asked.
Now reread the article I linked.
That’s right.
Now do you see?
I thought you might.
Thanks in advance for taking on more of the mental load. Your partner will appreciate it.
Sincerely,
Beth
*Credit to Laurel Thatcher Ulrich.
Observe and report 
Escape from … all this #SundayStories
Posted in Home Sweet Home, tagged Bright ideas, Celebrities, Circles of Hell, Comedies, Comments, Complaints, Crushes, Dramas, Emotions, Entitled White Dudes, Feelings, Feminism, Gender expectations, Gender roles, Georgia, Hobbies, Home, Home Life, Hormones, Love, Man Crush, Media, Netflix, Nudity, Objectification, Obsessions, Politicians, Politics, Rage, Reality TV, Rednecks, Seasons, Shocking, Stereotypes, Stress, Stupidity, Suggestions, Television, Tequila, The beach, The South, Trash TV, Trump, TV, Villains, White people, Women on August 16, 2026| Leave a Comment »
Hey y’all. It’s been a while, I know.
I’m not dead. Clearly.
I’m just … gobsmacked at what is happening here (i.e., this freakin’ country) on a daily basis. I can’t even believe it, and I don’t want to write about it. It’s like writing about it makes it more real.
So I’ll write about reality TV instead, my escapism go-to (as you know).
My favorite genre is what one might loosely term “love.” You know: “Love is Blind,” “Temptation Island,” “Too Hot to Handle,” etc.
Pretty twentysomethings cavorting in bikinis stirring up chaos thanks to hormones and underdeveloped frontal lobes.
It’s drama, but it’s not MY drama. And so I can turn off my own frontal lobe and enjoy the show.
Lately, I’ve been plowing through Season 8 of “Love Island USA.” I somehow managed to miss Seasons 3-7 (whaaaat?) and was very surprised to see this host, Ariana Madix, the Temu Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Who is this person? Where did she come from? Why was she chosen? I need someone with a strong personality like Nikki Glaser to be in charge of this thing. I don’t care that Shein Avril Lavigne is a great clothes hanger.
Anyway. This season has all the things I love:
I’m not done with this season yet, but I have enjoyed the heck out of every moment. Kenzie, especially, is good TV. Look at this girl:
Plus, she’s from Kennesaw, Georgia. Of course I’m going to root for her.
I’m having a hard time rooting for Sincere, though, as are the others in the Villa, judging by these reactions to his machinations captured on camera and shared during “movie night.”
Look at that. Priceless.
I’ve got my popcorn. It’s great!
You know whom I’m not thinking about while watching “Love Island?”
One of the best things I’ve noticed since the first two seasons is that the characters have evolved/matured.
I also love the occasional “Aftersun” episodes with Tefi and Ciara. Those are two fun women who seem like they could be my friends.
Yes, I do watch “real” TV too: I’m watching the weekly episodes of “Silo” plus working through “The Four Seasons” and Season 4 of “The Sinner.” There’s only so much of Bill Pullman looking pinched I can take before I need to see a beautiful half-naked person do a “vibe check” with another.
If you want to pull me for a chat about this show or similar trash, drop a comment.
Until then, I’ll be camped out on the sofa enjoying young adult theater.
Love,
Beth
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