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Posts Tagged ‘Peeves’

My eyes! My eyes!

Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged , , , , on February 2, 2010| 5 Comments »

I must thank Jacque, a student in the SCAD writing department, for providing the subject of tonight’s blog post. She reports that the image below was on the desktop of the college’s computers.

Ordinarily, I’d ask you to avert your eyes at such hideousness, but not tonight. Tonight I want you to look. Focus on it in all of its glory. And then let’s talk about it.

WHAT is going on here? Do people in these departments not know that there are people at SCAD who can help them write and design marketing materials? Is Montgomery Hal any relation to Shallow Hal? How many fonts are represented overall? And the colors! The colors! GAH!

Please make it stop.

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Rescue 911: The punctuation version

Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged , , , , on January 20, 2010| 5 Comments »

Tonight I became “that person.” But I did what I had to do.

I couldn’t just sit there and let it continue to happen.

I answered the call. The call of the abused apostrophe.

Though I love, LOVE my children’s school, I am sometimes surprised by the notes that come home. Notes about “Dress-down Fridays” bothered me greatly. They bothered me because they advertised “Dress Down Friday’s.”

I could hear the abused apostrophe screaming.

I let it go, for a time.

But tonight in the PTO meeting, I heeded the call. The chair asked for corrections to the minutes. I saw my opportunity and took it. I begged him to allow Friday to be plural, not possessive. “Let the minutes reflect the change,” said the chair. And the apostrophe and I wept.

Afterward, a couple of other parents thanked me. And there was much rejoicing.

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Top 10 recent quotes

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , on January 5, 2010| 5 Comments »

Two readers (!) asked for the story of how Eddie and I met. I will get to that later this week. Today, though, I want to list 10 of the things I have said this week that I never thought, never planned and never wanted to say:

1. Get your Wolverine claws off the coffee table.

2. Pick your Wolverine claw off of the floor.

3. Stop harassing the dog.

4. Leave your wiener alone.

5. Did you wipe your butt?

6. Stop messing with each other.

7. Get off the back of the couch.

8. No one is going to be killing anybody.

9. No, the chicken cannot come inside the house.

10. Because I said so. (That’s the worst one of all.)

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A contest!

Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged , , , , on January 3, 2010| 6 Comments »

In the words of that prophet Whitney Houston, “I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.” Yet how are they supposed to learn correct English when adults don’t even know?

Case in point: The “top secret” file that came with Dominic’s Iron Man action figure.

Top secret file

There are two glaring errors of the homonym variety. The first readers of this blog who identify the two errors win lovely virtual prizes.

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An open letter to my blog

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , on December 29, 2009| 2 Comments »

Dear Blog:

I’ve neglected you and I feel guilty. I apologize profusely, but I can’t promise it won’t happen again.

I could make excuses. I’ve been hosting folks in my house (as usual). I’ve been visiting family out of town. I’ve been working at the station and trying to sleep when I’m not.

But really, there is a bigger reason I have ignored you for five days: I don’t know what topic to tackle.

  • Should I address the fact that I’ve almost run over Trish with my car for three days in a row because she wants to greet me in the driveway?
  • Do I write about the permanent neon restaurant sign I saw on a building that read “Bojangles” on one side of the building, but “Bojangle’s” on the other?
  • Would it be better to vent my spleen about certain in-laws of mine who could not tell the truth if their lives depended on it? A corollary to that is that they aren’t happy unless they are saying something nasty behind our backs. This is why I cherish my friends so much.
  • Would it be best to simply offer a fantastic new recipe for potato leek soup that I found?

So, Blog, it is not that I don’t want to write. I just don’t know what topic to address. Forgive me for my indecision, and I’ll try to come up with something soon.

Love and kisses,

Beth

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All I want for Christmas …

Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged , , , , , , , on December 22, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Dominic asked me last night what I asked for from Santa Claus for Christmas. I said I had everything I needed. That’s true. But like most folks, I have an Amazon wish list in case Santa wants to reward me for being a good girl this year. (Though I’m sure I’ve spent time on the naughty list too.)

There are a couple of things I can’t add to Amazon, though, that are in keeping with my role as the grammar guru. One is a Grammar Nerd Corrective Label Pack. (I actually thought about making my own.) In that same vein, another site sells copyeditor marks, but the site appears to be down right now (in the biggest purchasing season of all, no less). And there are a bunch of other funny grammar-themed items out there. There’s also the AP Stylebook iPhone app. For regular readers of this blog who wondered if I won the Thanksgiving contest with my haiku, I did not. I was a little pissed, because I did not think the winning entries were better than mine. Yes, I know I’m biased. Judge for yourself. Here are the winners:

What I really want is time. Or maybe a clone. The clone could work on the research for my dissertation, and I’ll do the fun stuff like teaching, preparing for class, and hanging out with Eddie and the boys. I implemented a No Work Week this week, and I plan to make gingerbread people with the boys today. Wish me luck!

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Who vs. whom

Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged , , on December 19, 2009| Leave a Comment »

(Another “by request” post!)

People really seem to have a hard time with “who” and “whom.” The difference is that “who” is the subject and “whom” is the object.

Examples:

Who ate all the banana bread? “Who” is the subject who did the action. (In this case, it was Eddie.)

To whom did Tom give head lice? Here, “Tom” is the subject who gave lice to some unfortunate soul. (And that’s just a joke.)

Here is a trick: If you can replace the word with “him,” use “whom” (think “m”). If you can replace it with “he,” use “who.” Rewrite the sentence to see if it makes sense.

To whom would you like to speak? I would like to speak to him.

Who shall I say is calling? You can say he is calling.

Now I’m off to make more banana bread before the phone starts ringing and my head begins to itch.

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That which who

Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged , , on December 18, 2009| 2 Comments »

By request (A request! How exciting!), here is a tutorial about “that,” “which” and “who.”

First, let’s tackle “that” vs. “who.” It is easy: Use “who” when you are referring to people, and “that” when you are referring to things. If you feel strongly about your pets, they can be “who” too.

Examples:

The man who gave me “The International” now lives in Richmond Hill.

Trish is the chicken who lives with us.

The cops shot the chimp that ripped off that lady’s face. (You could use “who” here, but I prefer not to give that level of respect to that particular chimp.)

The book that sits on my nightstand is some trashy romance novel.

Now let’s talk about “that” vs. “which,” which seems to be more difficult. THAT was the proper use of “which.” Use it only when you can use a comma before it. Otherwise, use “that.” In other words, “that” is a crucial part of the sentence and describes a particular kind of thing, and “which” begins a clause that could be thrown out if necessary.

Examples:

Heidi and John held a New Year’s Eve party that resulted in a five-alarm fire.

Heidi and John’s New Year’s Eve party, which resulted in a five-alarm fire, was the talk of the neighborhood.

See the difference? Many academics don’t. Now you are smarter than a 20th grader.

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Hating on “&”

Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged , , , on December 16, 2009| 3 Comments »

One of the cardinal rules of AP Style (and many other styles, in fact) is that writers should never use “&” in place of “and” unless the ampersand is part of the proper name. For example, “Savannah International Trade & Convention Center” is the proper name. Despite what many write, SCAD’s proper, trademarked name is “Savannah College of Art and Design.” No ampersand. Ever.

Savannah Morning News reporter Arek Sarkissian II has decided, however, that the ampersand works just fine in the college’s name in his cover story on the SCAD student’s death. As a writer who should be using AP Style, he should know better. And was the copy editor asleep?

Yes, I know there are bigger things I should be worrying about, such as the poor student’s family and friends, and what exactly happened anyway. But I don’t know him, them or the circumstances, although it is a very sad story.

I do know AP Style, though. And this blog is devoted to grammar and style. And chickens, of course.

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The grammarian is back

Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged , , on December 14, 2009| Leave a Comment »

It’s been a while since I’ve tackled a grammar issue, so here is a big one: when to use “I” and “me.”

I had to stop reading one friend’s blog because she misused “I” so many times.

Here’s the deal: “I” is a subject pronoun and “me” is an object pronoun. So, “You and I should go Christmas shopping” because “you and I” are subjects doing something. And, “Santa hit on you and me” because Santa is doing something to us.

It is not OK, ever, to say “Santa gave his number to you and I.”

Need a hint? Take out the other pronoun and see if it works. “Santa gave his number to I” is not correct.

And it is always “between you and me,” no matter what you hear in songs such as Jessica Simpson’s “Between you and I” — not that you are really listening to that, of course.

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