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Posts Tagged ‘Customer service’

Signed, Sealed, Undelivered* @UPS #SundayStories #ShittyService #UPS

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , on May 29, 2022| 2 Comments »

Dear UPS,

You SUCK. Truly and completely.

Scenario:

Gideon left his glasses at a friend’s house. Friend and friend’s mom sent them back via UPS. They never arrived. Tracking number came up as “invalid” on phone searches. A computer search turned it up in Alpharetta. Where? I don’t know. This is all the information I had:

Left at the front desk WHERE in Alpharetta? Friend and mom shipped from Brookhaven to Gideon in Savannah! (Note: Brookhaven is 20 miles away from Alpharetta, and both are more than 270 miles from Savannah.)

So I filed a claim.

A month went by with no answer.

I emailed you.

This is what you said:

Shan K., I can ASSURE you it was not delivered to the address.

I wrote back. (I TRIED to call, but was hung up on TWICE.)

Then Ana Z got involved.

  1. The delivery address was correct. I confirmed that with friend and friend’s mom and THE ACTUAL RECEIPT.
  2. They sent it from Brookhaven. The package ended up in Alpharetta.
  3. There are EIGHT UPS stores in Alpharetta.

I called ALL EIGHT stores looking for a Richard who was working there in March. The LAST store I called was the only one with a Richard. He happened to be working when I called.

Oh, yeah. It’s right here.

He confirmed that the address was correct. And then CHARGED me to have it resent.

Why? Because the package was sent originally from a different store. UPS stores are franchises. So Alpharetta is not responsible for Brookhaven.

So to recap:

  1. The first driver was lazy as hell. (Mailing address was accurate.)
  2. The claims process is a joke. (No updates/information.)
  3. Your customer service is beyond laughable. (Didn’t actually do anything and gave conflicting information.)
  4. I’m out $11.68 and time out of my life to deal with this hassle. (Evidence of your sucktitude.)
I paid the ransom money, and it arrived Friday.

YOU should have tracked down this package for me. I should not have had to call EIGHT stores to find one with an employee named Richard. And I want my $11.68 back.

Never again, UPS.

Sincerely,
A Former Customer

*Sorry, Stevie.

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Something in the water (spoiler: It’s me) #ThursdayThoughts

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2022| 6 Comments »

Dear Sue,

You win.

Your water fitness class almost made me tap out. That would have been a first.

I don’t know if it is because it has been a while since I went to a class (<cough> six months <cough>) or whether it is because you are hard core.

Either way, I had jelly legs at the end of the class.

So thank you.

This pool is great for families (see water slides) but not so great for fitness courses in the deep end. I actually accidentally touched another participant because of the proximity. EEEK.

Not your fault.

I laughed when you shouted, “We always like men in here” to the man picking out a water noodle. To be fair, he did suggest he could be a shark among the mermaids (yuck).

And I appreciate that you gave the chatty ladies hell. (No, lady with pink hair, I don’t want to hear another word about your elbow, thankyouverymuch.)

Anyway, as that great sage Arnold Schwarzenegger said: “I’ll be back.”

Sincerely,
Beth

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Government games #SuperStrain #SundayStories

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2022| 2 Comments »

Dear State of Missouri Government:

LAWD have mercy. Y’all make being street legal SO DIFFICULT. Worse BY FAR than Georgia, and I didn’t think that was possible.

My suggestion for a new Missouri slogan: More backwards than Georgia.

Let’s recap:

I bought a car. In Ohio. The finance company owns the title. (So I thought, because that’s what the dealership said.)

Your tag office wanted me to have the finance company fill out a special form, have it notarized and sent back to me so I could take it to you.

Your tag office also wanted me to get a property tax waiver.

Your tag office sent me here:

It came pre-highlighted!

But they needed the form from the finance company too.

I spent two weeks trying to get a human being at the finance company to help me. No luck.

Then one day I come home from work, and there’s a FEDEX envelope on my welcome mat.

It’s from the dealership. It’s my official car title. Sitting RIGHT THERE in front of my door for the world to take.

Good LORD!

So I make an appointment and go back to the highlighted office.

Nope.

That’s the COUNTY office. I need St. Louis CITY. Downtown.

The County office gave me a helpful slip with the info.

Fine.

I take all my paperwork and go to City Hall.

It’s not Room 110.

It’s Room 115.

Room 115. Let’s take a closer look at that sign.
I can assure you that there are no cards anywhere. There also isn’t a suggestion box.

Once I got the waiver, I went to Room 111 to get the actual tag.

My view while waiting for service.

Then I waited again to get my Missouri driver’s license. Y’all charged me $28 for the privilege. And took two hours of my life.

Good news: It’s over. Lamar and I are legal.

(Lamar is my “new” whip. 😉 He and I are getting along just fine. But I did cry when the junkyard came to get my old girl.)

But I now see exactly why so many people here drive around with temporary tags.

Please add that suggestion box. I’ve got thoughts.

Your exasperated new neighbor,
Beth

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New year, new drama #SundayStories #SobStorySunday

Posted in Random, Travel, tagged , , , , , on January 9, 2022| 7 Comments »

Y’all.

My 2021 was A YEAR. You know: You read about it.

As my new/old mom said, “It has not gone smoothly for you.”

No.

It went out with a bang, too.

Remember I had to have my car towed?

Well. Jeff, my service advisor, shared bad news with me the Monday after Christmas.

It’s dead. As in “needs a new motor” dead. “More than $6,000 to get it going” dead.

And the “new” engine has 123K miles on it.

My car is a 2008 VW Eos with 185K miles on it. It’s worth a third of the repair cost.

So. The new year will feature a new car.

But I’ve spent all my money on moving and a house. As you all know.

I don’t want a car payment and higher insurance.

My university is closed between Christmas and New Year’s Day, so I had time to investigate.

I found a newer version of my car for a very reasonable price.

Hello there!

The only hitch? It’s in Ohio. Sasha at the dealership said it would take four weeks to ship it.

No, no, no.

I’m writing this on a plane to Columbus. I’ll meet my car by noon, and we will bond on the nearly seven-hour drive back to St. Louis.

Wish me luck!
Beth

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Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing … #FridayFails

Posted in Home Sweet Home, tagged , , , , , , , , on December 24, 2021| 2 Comments »

Dear Santa,

Hey there! It’s been quite a year, amirite? Here I thought this year would be better. You brought us all vaccines, after all.

But no. Different year, same pandemic, different variants. Same stupid people prolonging the bullshit for everyone.

Sigh.

When I saw you recently, I asked for an end to the pandemic. I’d like one other thing, if you don’t mind:

Better customer service in the greater St. Louis area.

So far, I’ve had trouble with the following entities:

  • Spectrum (It took three visits from three technicians plus six phone calls to get my Internet/cable service installed. And my bill still isn’t right.)
  • All-Appliance Repair (Three visits — one from a COVID-positive tech no less — to get my ice maker working.)
  • The Chimney Sweepers (Brittany was great, but the fact remains that someone was supposed to come last week and didn’t. Brittany was a reschedule.)
  • St. Louis Towing (I waited 3.5 hours for a tow truck when my car stopped running on Olive Street. It was supposed to take 30 minutes.)
  • Suntrup Volkswagen (A return call telling me they received said car would be great.)

Everyone is very nice, but I’m bothered by the inefficiency. And that I have to stay on top of things.

So it would be great if you could give a little Kringle kick in the keister to service-oriented businesses.

Thank you, and I hope you have a merry COVID-free Christmas. Maybe you should just throw the presents down chimneys to minimize contact.

Love,
Beth

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Chim Chim Cher-ee: To meet this sweep, I’m lucky indeed #TuesdayTale

Posted in Home Sweet Home, Random, tagged , , on December 21, 2021| 2 Comments »

Dear Brittany the Chimney Sweep,

You are an impressive young woman. I was shocked and tickled when you called me this morning to clarify my address before heading over. No, I don’t live in a condemned house on Coleman Street, so it’s a good thing you double-checked.

I like that you are Type A like I am.

And I like that you are a woman who is a chimney sweep.

That’s rare. And very cool.

Then this conversation blew my mind:

Me: “You probably get this all the time, but you are giving me a Scarlett Johansson vibe.”
You: “I do get that all the time. And I also model.”

Whaaaat?

A female chimney sweep and part-time model? You are FANTASTIC!

THEN we had a very girly conversation about spa services, and you gave me the name of your aesthetician.

I’m sure it was just another day for you, but it was a GREAT day for me.

And my fireplace is so clean.

Thank you!

Your fan,
Beth

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Movin’ on up #SundayStories

Posted in Advice, Random, tagged , , , , , , on December 5, 2021| 2 Comments »

Dear Mike,

In my last post, I noted some, um, issues with my move — issues beyond those caused by the seller, my neighbor. Your moving company caused additional agita.

Let’s start with the fact that you were supposed to send three guys between 10:30 and 11:30 a.m.

I was there waiting at the storage unit by 10. I left just before noon to go sign the closing papers. My saintly realtor took my place while I was closing.

We had no way of knowing that you meant 10:30-11:30 Hawaii Time.

Your guys showed up just after 3. And there were only two of them. And these two had been on two other jobs previously. So they were tired. Moving SO SLOWLY. Great for you as you charge by the hour.

🙄

Footage of your movers “in action.”

For THREE HOURS, you promised me that two more guys were coming. When they finally showed up, one left immediately. Again, third job of the day. The other stayed, but complained the whole time, talked to his baby mama on the phone, and barely did anything. And he was wearing slides. SLIDES!

Night fell.

I was DYING.

I couldn’t stand it. I started helping.

Yes, you read that right: I was paying your company to move my stuff, but I put myself to work.

My bruises are proof.

You sent two more sloths workers. Around 8 (8!), the storage unit was finally empty.

Let me remind you that one man, one woman and four teenage boys loaded the same size truck in less time than your “professionals.” And for the price of Zaxby’s.

Then it was time to unload at my house. Angry man left. The others stayed. Actually stepped up the pace. They wanted to be done as much as I wanted them to be done.

Everything was in a bit after midnight. MIDNIGHT, MIKE!

But then I overheard the two original guys talking about how they were going to get home. They don’t have cars. Their buses weren’t running. You — their boss who had scheduled them for three jobs in one day — told them to figure it out themselves. An Uber would be very expensive.

Sigh.

I drove your employees home, Mike.

Josh was going to walk back to just outside the Central West End. He apparently walked to work — a three-hour journey.

I don’t know how Jeff was going to get back to Washington Park, ILLINOIS.

I got back home around 3 a.m.

I think you should have given me a massive discount, but you didn’t.

I think the money I spent should go to your employees, but it won’t.

You thrive because you pay them $14 an hour, no benefits.

I told Josh and Jeff that Target pays $15 an hour with benefits.

I hope they take my advice.

More advice to anyone who will listen: Don’t use your company.

Sincerely,
Beth, a former customer

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Breaking and entering #SaturdayInsanity #SundayStories

Posted in Apartment life, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 10, 2021| 2 Comments »

Dear Mid-America Apartments:

I hate you with a white-hot rage. The temp of a thousand suns.

I hate you like Bette hated Joan.

I hate you like a high-school boyfriend hated shirts with sleeves (much to my father’s chagrin).

(I hate you so much, but I still don’t hate you as much as I hate Mitch McConnell.)

You installed “smart locks” a few months ago. Ours has never worked properly. Your maintenance folks have been out to fix it more than four times.

Last night, it wouldn’t open. Period.

I called the emergency line. Twice. Eddie called too.

Someone will be right over.

Someone did not come over.

Someone called.

The someone: We don’t do lockouts. We only do emergencies.
Me: This is an emergency. Our lock isn’t working. We need to get into our place. Don’t you have the special key to get into the garage?
Him: No. You’ll have to check with the leasing office.
Me: They don’t open until Monday.
Him: I guess you’ll have to wait until Monday.
Me: How are we supposed to get into our apartment?
Him: I don’t know. We only handle emergencies.
Me: This is an emergency.
Him: We don’t consider this an emergency. Don’t you have the garage door opener?
Me: If we had that, I wouldn’t be calling you, would I?

I hung up on him.

I mean … WHAT the ACTUAL F?!

So we borrowed an extension ladder from a friend. I hummed the “Mission Impossible” theme while Dominic shimmied up and saved the day.

I was TERRIFIED of what bad things could happen here.

We should not have had to do this. Your emergency line people should actually have the capacity to help.

And you should have installed locks that actually work.

I can’t wait until our lease is up. I will NEVER recommend your company/complexes.

Beyond vexed,
Beth

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Chutzpah, thy name is Greg #TemerityTuesday

Posted in Apartment life, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2021| 2 Comments »

Dear Greg,

Thanks for your inquiry into the space I have listed on Airbnb.

I have questions:

  1. Why are you contacting me and not your wife? She has a job (clearly), so I assume she is a big girl who can plan her own trips.
  2. Will I be able to rent out the kitchen and living room for those nights as she apparently won’t be using them?
  3. Do you do this kind of thing all the time? Ask for “a better deal” where negotiation is not standard?
  4. If you buy a car, do you negotiate the price based on how many times you plan to drive it?
  5. What about your own house or apartment? Did you ask for a discount on the price or rent based on how many times you’ll use the whole house?

Sorry, Greg, but your request is ridiculous to me. The site is Airbnb not Airb. And I’m going to be a B and say NO!*

I’m still going to have to get it ready and clean it when she leaves. The price is comparable to other places and much cheaper than a hotel.

You and your wife can take it or leave it.

Sincerely,
Beth

*Credit to my cousin Ellen for that gem.

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Sixty-ish minutes too many at Six Flags @sfovergeorgia #SundayStories

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 27, 2021| 5 Comments »

Gideon and I look happy. Of course, I took this just as we arrived. Ignorance is bliss.

Dear Six Flags Management:

My son and I visited Six Flags Over Georgia yesterday. A Saturday in June. We must have been high to think that was a good idea.

You can’t do anything about the sun or the heat, but you CAN do loads about the rest of the experience.

My complaints fall into three categories: customer service, your app and basic human needs.

1. Customer service

You have none. Not a single person working there wanted to work there. That was clear. And some who were “working” were not.

Case in point: Macho Nacho.

We went into the restaurant at 1:14 p.m. — prime lunch time. Though there are two sides, only one side was open — despite the fact that there was food out and ready to go on the unmanned side AND you clearly had the staff on hand.

A few minutes later, four employees came in with Icees and stood around watching the others work.

It was at this point that I went partial Karen and emailed guest relations.

Meanwhile, my son faded into oblivion.

One other thing: If you are going to advertise that you have guacamole, please have guacamole.

2. The Six Flags app

As I am a diamond member, you send me surveys all the time. You always ask about the app. I always tell you it sucks.

Why? It’s useless. It doesn’t provide any information you can’t get inside the park all over the place.

You know what makes a theme park app useful? Ride wait times. Every other theme park app has them.

Not yours.

Plus, you have to have cell service to use the app. Service in your park is nonexistent. And your WiFi?

Right.

One of the incentives to use the app is the chance to earn points with checkins. (What these points go toward is a mystery, but whatever.)

Great, right? Haha! No.

“Too far away?!” I’m IN THE LINE.

3. Basic human needs

People need food, clothing and shelter.

I would argue that you deprived us of the first for longer than necessary (see Complaint No. 1).

No. 2 is not applicable here. I live in the South. I know how to dress for a day at the theme park.

No. 3, though, is applicable when it comes to the rides. There is no reason you can’t have canopies over the lines for the rides.

We wanted to go on the Goliath, but the wait time appeared to be an hour in the broiling sun.

No shade whatsoever.

No thank you.

All skin burns. My pale skin gets it worse.

I would argue that hand sanitizer is now a basic human need. Why have sanitizing stations when you don’t fill them regularly? We tried five before we found one with fluid.

Also bathrooms need to be stocked with toilet paper. I can’t believe I have to tell you that.

After one ride and lunch, we were ready to leave.

Gideon: I’ve had enough for today. Let’s go and come back on a weekday or some night.
Me: Good plan.

Please don’t send me an after-visit survey unless you really are planning to implement changes.

Kthxbye,
Beth

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