Not a damn thing. Folks need to get over it. (Or stop doing stupid stuff to cause the face. 😄)
Here’s a handy decoder:
“Oh you think so, do you? FAFO.”“Let me get this straight.”“Bitch, please.”“I’m laughing at you, not with you.”“Come on, now.”“This MFer.”“Do tell.”“I’m just going to look down at my notes, because my face has nothing nice to say.”“Oh, honey. I actually feel sorry for you.”
Now let’s test your knowledge. What is my face saying to you?
A. This bar is great. B. The decor is unique. C. I found love in a hopeless place. D. I want to murder this man who sat four inches from me despite the fact that there were 10 empty seats at the bar.
If you said D, then winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Whatever you do, don’t be this guy:
It’s misogynistic and akin to “you should smile more.” Frank, how ’bout you train yourself to STFU.
If you need it, here’s a dude saying roughly the same thing:
It’s an extra layer of communication. Useful, I’d say.
I mean, just think about how moms operate. All you needed was THE LOOK from your mom, and you stopped your buffoonery immediately.
In retrospect, I should amend my first line. I do not “suffer” from FAFO Face. I actually celebrate it! I have the ability to communicate effectively without words.
I wish you weren’t the kind of person who would post things like this:
But sadly, you are.
You also posted this:
You dared me to fact check it.
Challenge accepted.
The claim: “Allowed 15m unvetted illegals into the country.” The truth: “Allowed” is the wrong word. (How can you “allow” if they aren’t vetted?) Regardless, the number of unauthorized immigrants in the United States is estimated at 11 million — about the same number it was in 2015. The number reached peak in 2007. You know who was president then? George W. Bush. A Republican. (Not sure if you hate Democrats or Biden or both, but I’ll reference presidents AND parties in this exercise.)
Side note: Are “illegals” taking jobs or are they lazy/living off services and/or drug dealers/rapists? Are they taking the drug-dealing jobs? I just want to be clear.Also, someone you love very much is a rapist and took a qualified-person’s job, so …
The claim: “Historic inflation crisis.” The truth: In Biden’s first year in office, the inflation rate hit 7 percent in 2021, which was a 40-year high, thanks to the pandemic, supply chain issues, the war in Ukraine, etc. The all-time high was 29.78% in 1778. Also corporations like Kroger behaved badly.
The claim: “Record high gas prices in all 50 states.” The truth: Hard to say if it was the case in all 50 states, but gas in general hit a record-high price in March 2022 — once again, thanks to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. It beat a record set in July 2008. Who was president? Our buddy Dubya.
The claim: “Record high consumer debt.” The truth: This is accurate. It goes up every year, and could be a complaint about every single administration. No doubt it will go up no matter who is president.
The claim: “Released terrorists into the country.” The truth: Hard to research/know about this one. Who are these terrorists? Maybe it comes from this Jim Jordan report saying 100 people on the terrorist watch list were let into the country in 2022. The Biden Administration closed a loophole leading to this. There’s a conflicting report saying 100 were STOPPED from entering in 2022 with 160 stopped in 2023. Here’s some general fact checking about immigration.
The claim: “Israel-Hamas War.” The truth: Same response as above in that Biden in no way started this war. The Gaza-Israel conflict essentially has been going on since 1967.
The claim: “Disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan.” The truth: HOO BOY. Both the Trump and Biden Administrations made big mistakes. Arguably one of the biggest was Trump releasing 5,000 Taliban from prison. One of those is Abdul Ghani Baradar, who is acting first deputy prime minister of Afghanistan today. Kind of a big deal.
The claim: “Violent crime skyrocketing.” The truth: False. A Pew Research Center report noted, “Both the FBI and BJS [Bureau of Justice Statistics] data show dramatic declines in U.S. violent and property crime rates since the early 1990s, when crime spiked across much of the nation.” Fun fact: The murder rate rose 30 percent between 2019 and 2020 — the largest single-year increase in more than a century. Who was president then? Oh right. Trump.
The claim: “Tried to jail political rival in name of democracy.” The truth: Is this a reference to Trump’s convictions? HAHAHAHAHA! GTFO. Trump, a rapist, broke the law many, many times. He should be held accountable like anyone else. This isn’t Biden’s doing. Trump did this himself.
The claim: “Lied to the American public about Joe’s decline.” The truth: I don’t even know where to start with this. Everyone gets older (“declines,” I guess). No need to lie about anything. It’s not like they hid his age. I love all the armchair physicians. Here’s what I do know: Running the country takes an administration (Executive branch) plus Congress (Legislative branch) with laws upheld by the Judicial branch. Biden’s cabinet supported him. Fun fact: Trump’s cabinet did not (and do not).
The claim: “Declared war on American energy.” The truth: How do you declare war on a quantitative property? Is the claim that the Biden Administration is trying to shut down or constrain energy companies? In fact, it is just the opposite: The United States is producing record amounts of oil, natural gas and renewable power.
The claim: “Record low test scores for K-12 students.” The truth: Which K-12 students? All of them? That’s impossible to know. Average test scores for reading and math for 13 year olds dropped since 2020 (um … pandemic, hello!). However, the science scores among 15 year olds is unchanged since 2018. Test scores in Oregon among children in grades 3-8 and 11 for English and math and grades 5, 8 and 11 for science show progress. So this claim needs to define terms/ages/states, etc., in order to compare apples to apples year over year.
The claim: “Most unpopular president and VP in history.” The truth: Among Republicans, maybe. Just kidding. This is completely false. You know who had the lowest “high” on the all-time approval rankings? Trump with just 49 percent. The president who had the highest high (92 percent) and the lowest low (19 percent)? Dubya, once again. Here’s a fun Gallup chart for all you visual learners:
Clearly, I missed my calling as a fact checker and researcher. (I wonder if Snopes is hiring.)
Here’s a list of just some of the things Biden and his administration actually did. You may not agree with or want all the things on this list, but these are the facts. No need to make up anything.
Also, jobs.
Anyway, Timothy, I know my work won’t change your mind. Maybe it will change someone else’s.
In the age of social media, I know it is hard not to share a chart or a meme that fits in with your world view/personal bias. I know it seems great in the moment, but I really encourage you to check your facts.
As we are in an election year, and people are foaming at the mouth, sharing misinformation is a real problem.
A couple of far-right friends shared a chart I found interesting:
It’s interesting to me because it looks great for your cause if you are a Trump supporter.
BUT THIS CHART IS WRONG. I know it is wrong because I had recently done some research on gas prices.
(That people think the President of the United States controls the price of gas is insane to me.)
Anyway, I was motivated to get the real numbers, and I had some spare time.
I put together a spreadsheet. I hate Excel, so I need everyone to understand that this is a big deal.
In addition to providing the real data for the categories in the chart above, I added some other key info such as the global inflation rate, deficit and GDP. I also added the numbers for the last four years Obama was in office to give context.
I’m presenting it here without comment. These are real numbers, and I can provide sources for this data (non-media sources). Let me know if you want me to send you the spreadsheet with source links.
The bottom line: Educate yourself. Decide what is important to you. Vote accordingly.
Also, don’t share stupid inflammatory shit that is wrong. There is enough misinformation in the world without you adding to it.
I’d love your help in finding the parking access card, building fob and door key for my Airbnb.
Veronica the Cleaner took a pic of the bundle last Sunday to show that the guest returned it.
But when Amit checked in Friday, it was nowhere to be found.
There were no guests in between.
Unless I hosted ghosts. Or aliens.
I try to offer a five-star experience, so I set to work to try to fix the issue, even though I was in Savannah trying to spend some time with Gideon on his spring break.
The fob was the immediate concern. Well, the property manager only works Monday-Friday, and she was off Friday. NO ONE ELSE can distribute them. Fob is a no-go until Monday.
I still needed to get a new access card and key and to change the code on the lock.
I have friends in Atlanta, but that’s a big ask.
As I was flying through Atlanta on my way back to Portland, I decided to see if I could extend my layover.
The noon flight was sold out. Standby didn’t look promising. The 3 p.m. would get me there at 4, but my PDX flight left at 7.
Three hours to get out of the airport, run these errands, and get back through security?
My blood pressure is skyrocketing just thinking about it.
ANXIETY INTERLUDE.
I could either sit in the airport fretting for hours or get on the road.
I canceled my SAV-ATL flight and rented a car.
I have two sayings:
Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.
Bad decisions make good stories.
I got quite an experience and a story.
All was well until I entered Atlanta’s orbit. I am from Atlanta. I know traffic.
We always say, “Atlanta is an hour away from Atlanta.”
This was worse than almost anything I had ever seen. Add one hour to the journey.
Peachtree Street was a hot mess.
I mean … WTF?!? Seventeen minutes to drive 2.6 miles.
I got to the condo, grabbed the extra set of keys, and found a hardware store. That was the easy part. PASS!
Next I tried to change the code on the door lock. Somehow, I have the wrong programming code saved in my phone and no tools to take off the lock to get at the info inside. FAIL.
I went to the parking garage to get a replacement access card. The person who can do this works Monday-Friday. NO ONE ELSE can distribute them. Of course. FAIL.
So if you are keeping track, you can tell that I got virtually nothing accomplished. I wasted time, money and energy.
I am a glass-is-half-full person, so let’s look on the bright side:
I earned Skymiles and Expedia OneKeyCash on the car rental. Clearly that’s better than keeping my actual money. 🙄
I got to test drive a Subaru Forester. It’s THE car for folks in the Pacific Northwest. I’m trendy!
I got to catch up with my friend Jennifer on a two-hour call. Two hours! Y’all know that’s huge for me.
I met Amit, who is lovely, and now has a brand-new door key. Hope he gives me a good review. I did go the extra mile. 😉
I got my heart pumping thanks to road rage. Can we call it a Traffic Tantrum? (My agita!)
I really got to SEE Peachtree Street. Never paid much attention to most of the buildings before.
And also Peachtree Center Avenue, onto which I detoured.
Then I had to race to the airport.
It was … not a fun trip. And not productive. But at least I tried.
Tony (if I may be so bold), it would be great if you could somehow make the wayward items turn up during Amit’s stay.
Speak to the aliens, please. Have them beam them back down.
I’m a fan of them, in general, but they are not suited for the rental market for two main reasons:
Miles possible on a charge.
Availability of charging stations.
Time to charge.
Ok, so let’s discuss No. 1. I was told at the JFK rental counter that the Chevy Volt that was forced on me** would get 250 miles per charge.
Perhaps that’s true if the owner takes care of the car. But this Volt was a rental. I was told it was fully charged when the rental fellow turned over the keys.
It didn’t look charged to me:
It looks like it has just over half a charge, but what do I know?
So I went on my way to visit my father on Long Island.
That brings us to No. 2. Random charging stations are available here and there, but there are only a few plugs at a time. With more and more people driving electric vehicles, sometimes there is a wait to charge. There’s also the No. 3 issue. I’ll get to that in a moment.
I found a charging station six miles from my father’s house. It was in a parking lot near a fire station. Luckily, he was able to go with me to set the car on charge, then we drove around and had lunch.
What if that hadn’t been an option?
And here’s the biggest problem: Time to charge (No. 3).
We left the car charging for 2.5 hours. And that wasn’t enough to get it fully charged from a 65-mile drive.
2.5 HOURS!
I had to find another charging station on the way back. (Why? To avoid the $60 fee for bringing it back on less than 100 percent charged. Seems like you REALLY like that dollar figure.)
This time, I managed to find a fast-charge place by a mall. There were five charging units, but only three were working. I had to wait to get one.
I plugged in the car, and waited. Tethered like a teenager to TikTok.
The charging unit said one hour to 80 percent charge. The Volt said 34 minutes to full charge.
Can you guess the Volt’s problem?
My guess is battery health.
It’s not like these cars are cheaper or cooler to drive. And you still have to pay for charging, so there’s no major saving over gas.
Home use is a great idea. I borrowed my friend Marlane’s Kia EV over Thanksgiving, and it was fantastic. I set it on charge in the garage overnight once it got low.
But for a rental? No thanks. Bad idea.
If you won’t take my advice, please just make a note in my file that I never want to rent one again.
**I got the manager’s special rate with the best available car. The Volt is what was offered. I asked (read: begged) for a regular car. No, ma’am, unless I wanted to pay $60 extra.
I mean, why else would straight, middle-aged me go to this?:
Lord knows that I am not the target audience.
My friend Wendy went with me. We were definitely the oldest people there by about 25 years. Two of a handful not in costume. And I’d bet a rainbow flag that I was the only heterosexual.
Not that any of this matters. It was a fun night. It was nice to get out, as my new job has consumed my life.
BUT we were there to see Big Freedia. And while I appreciate that you stepped in last minute when Freedia had a family emergency, I wasn’t really feeling your set.
I also wasn’t feeling the four bathrooms and two small bars for 500 people.*
I WAS feeling a new friend named Derek, though. Literally. He asked me to fix the garter buckle on the stockings of his sexy nurse costume. I was happy to help, and I ended up with what he proclaimed as my “new twink son.”
I just got back from a trip to China for work. I was in Zhengzhou and Shanghai. I had been to Shanghai before, so I kind of knew what to expect.
However, there were some surprises.
Things I did not have on my bingo card:
Sweet and sour popcorn fishWhat amounted to drinkable kerosene (106 proof!)A Rolls Royce golf cart for a tour of a university campusA campus that looked like Disney World mated with Las VegasA bowling alley inside the student centerA military parade featuring all 8,000 freshmenA welcome ceremony that rivaled the opening ceremony for the OlympicsLiberace’s furniture in my hotel roomA bathroom with a viewing windowDuck (I think) to go at the airportThe amount of full-on staring people did at our groupThe taxi ride from hell: snorting/coughing and texting driver who wouldn’t turn the air on but wouldn’t turn off the turn signal
It was an interesting and productive trip, but I’m glad to be home.
My first week went well. Everyone has been very kind, very welcoming.
I’ve also been a bit overwhelmed at the scope of the work to do. I stayed late every night this week trying to get a handle on my role. But my instincts have proven to be sound, and I’ll be fine.
The view from my desk
I have discovered that Oregonians are a particular kind of nice.
They are lovely people, but don’t seem to go out of their way to help. High school friend Aileen, who lives in Salem, warned me about that.
You have to ask explicitly for what you want.
For example, I locked myself out of my house for the first time in my life the week before I started work. The doorknob of the door leading into the garage has a thumb lock you really have to work at to pop out. I thought I had done that.
When I returned from taking out the trash, I realized I had not.
I had only the clothes on my back. No phone. And I was filthy because I had been painting and unboxing and trying to get the place in order.
I didn’t even know where campus security was to get help. (I live on campus.) I walked to my soon-to-be office building to call campus security. One of my direct reports was working late. I materialized in her doorway. She and I were both horrified at the state of me. She barely recognized me.
Beth?!
Yeah.
She called security and handed me the phone.
Security officer: I don’t know that we even have keys to that place.
Me: If you don’t, do you know a locksmith?
Him: I’m not from here. I don’t know a locksmith.
Me: Could I use your phone to call one?
Him: Sure. I’ll meet you at your house in 10 minutes.
We arrive at the same time. He tried the keys. No luck. I use his phone to call a locksmith. The dude has to come from Salem, which is 45+minutes. He asks me what kind of lock it is. I tell him it’s heavy duty because it’s campus housing. He says he might have to drill it out. We hang up.
Me: I don’t think the facilities group is going to like that.
Security officer: No. I don’t think the campus locksmith will either.
Me (incredulous): THERE’S A CAMPUS LOCKSMITH?!
Him: Oh yes.
Me: Well, can we call him?
Him: Yes, I’ll call the facilities manager on call.
Me: THERE’S A FACILITIES MANAGER ON CALL?!?
Darrell the Campus Locksmith got there in five minutes and let me in.
See what I mean? Nice but not forthcoming.
It’s different from Southern nice, where people WILL go out of their way but talk smack about you when the screen door shuts.
And different from Midwest nice, where people will go out of their way with no expectation of return favors and no gossip.
So now I know. I can work with that.
I’ll keep you posted on the adventures I expect to have.
It was weird to watch my car drive away without me.
I packed the remaining stuff for the RV and worried about space.
The next day, the epic road trip started out fine. I had to pick up the RV in Kansas City, so I hitched a ride with my brother who was headed there for a gig.
Look at me with Lodell: fresh faced and ready for adventure.
Why did I have to get it in Kansas City? Good question. Cruise America doesn’t have any locations closer to St. Louis. It was KC or Chicago. Weird, but ok.
While on the way, Gideon was updating me on the flight. Allegiant flies direct from Savannah, Georgia, to Belleville, Illinois, (close to St. Louis) seasonally. No frills, of course. It’s a sky bus.
Despite my flight tracker saying they were en route and the Allegiant app saying they were on time, they were delayed. No explanation.
According to Gideon, for a moment, it looked like they were going to board. But then, the flight was canceled. No reason given. No attempt to reschedule: Sucks to be you; we’ll give you a voucher.
The next flight out on any airline that would get them there that night was $1,319 per ticket.
Mama ain’t got that kind of cash.
Survey says: Delta for $259 the next morning.
I arranged all this while sitting on a stack of furniture pads in the RV place that doubles as a UHaul rental center.
So that was fun.
They headed home. So did I.
Despite being 30 feet long, the RV is easy to drive. It’s not cheap, though.
Yikes. That’s about 10 miles per gallon.
What I had been counting on was having help loading the beast for the trip with everything the movers didn’t take.
Thar she blows!
But that wasn’t the case. My next-door neighbors took pity on me and helped me with some of it.
Observe and report 