Dear Friends and Family,
This time last week, I was on a cruise. I didn’t pay the exorbitant fee for ship WiFi, and I was thus blissfully unaware of Leon and his band of Hitler youth interns hijacking the Treasury. Among other things. 🙄
Oh those halcyon days!
Anyway.
What kind of cruise?
Chris Jericho’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Rager at Sea.
Listen: I grew up in Georgia. Y’all know I’m a redneck.
Wrestling was a part of my childhood. Dusty Rhodes, the American Dream, was like kin. One of my first crushes was Robert Fuller, whose tag-team partner was Ted DiBiase, the Million Dollar Man.
All Elite Wrestling is the best. It’s far superior in storylines to World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s like a soap opera featuring sweaty men. And one of the best characters is Chris Jericho. He understands the assignment.
Jericho also fronts one of my favorite bands: Fozzy. Fozzy performed on the cruise, along with a bunch of other bands.
Wrestling AND rock music? It’s the perfect combo for me. I’ve been wanting to go on this cruise for years.
Pre-trip, people would ask where the ship was going. I answered, “I don’t know. I don’t care.” Turns out: Puerto Plata, DR. Fine. I was there for what was happening on the Norwegian Gem.
In addition to Fozzy, the lineup featured the return of Great White. Yes, THAT Great White. They have a new singer. He’s very talented and VERY young. Was DEF not alive during the band’s first go ‘round.
Others: Kuarantine (another Jericho-fronted band, this one focused on KISS covers of the no-makeup years), Guardians of the Jukebox (all covers), Excitable (a Def Leppard tribute band), Nocturnal Affair (a screamy metal band), and — another favorite of mine — The Hot Damn!
And then there was the wrestling.
There was at least one show per day along with photo opps, autograph sessions, podcasts and random other events — events like a belly-flop contest.
As you are all on a boat together, you could find yourself riding the elevator with Toni Storm.
Or passing Turbo Floyd of the Outrunners in a hallway.
Or standing in line at the bar with Jesus.
What was hilarious later is that Fozzy has a song called, “Drinking with Jesus.” The crowd was SO EXCITED and lifted this man up to the front. Sadly, Jericho didn’t even notice. Missed opportunity, I say.
As for drinking, I started the cruise still doing Dry January. Friends, that is a rough choice. ROUGH. Especially when I hear fellow passengers say things like this about their own drinks:
“I’m drunk, and I can tell that’s strong. Got DAMN, that’s strong!”*
But I made it.
And I didn’t get crazy on the trip, either. Unlike others. Look at Will Ospreay’s face after a night of drunken karaoke:
Let me tell you: Cruises are GREAT for people watching.
On the last day at sea, my traveling friend and I sat and watched people for hours. I asked him if he was going to get a chair massage like the dude next to us.
He said, “Absolutely not.”
I said, “Why not? You liked the last massage you got.”
He said, “That was in a nice relaxing cave. This is on a ship surrounded by weird people with Great White doing a sound check in the background.”
Fair enough.
Five days, four nights of events tailored to my interests? Yes, please.
I’ll tell you this: It was the first time on this cruise, but it won’t be the last.
Who is coming with me next time?
Let’s go!
Beth
*Yes, “got damn” with a “t.”
Observe and report 